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Losing motivation for college...already?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by factwithinfiction, Oct 18, 2010.

  1. factwithinfiction

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    So I've been in college for a grand total of four weeks and I'm already kinda losing the oomph that I had the first two weeks. I don't mind the homework, I don't mind the classes, I don't even mind the school but recently I've been asking myself, "Why put myself through this?" My best friends from high school are still my best friends and even though they moved, I still keep in the closest of contact with them so being far apart obviously is doing more wonders than anything else.

    However, when I go to college I have very few friends whom I don't have class so I'm normally finding myself...by myself. But its not just that as much as it is the thought of bailing out of college. Like I don't want want to feel like like I've wasted years on my life when I'm just gonna quit. I've also joined my school's GSA but I'm finding myself joining for all the wrong reasons and I'm finding there's nothing I can do about it but either way I don't want to quit on it either.

    I know there's underlying problems that have to do with my social anxiety and paranoia and whatnot but I just want to know how I can put myself day to day without losing motivation.
     
  2. Mirko

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    Hi there! Maybe I'm just a bit tired but I need a bit more info before I can give you some suggestions or offer some advice.

    First, why do you feel that you have joined the GSA for all the wrong reasons?

    Second, do you feel that you have chosen your programme/area of study for all the right reasons? Although you don't mind the homework and the classes but your question "why put myself through this" is almost a contradiction to that.
     
  3. starfish

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    I am an excellent example of what not to do here.

    I had a simular issue way back when. I just quit going to class half way through the semester. Somehow I will managed to pass 2 of my classes. My GPA for the semester was .5. I did not enroll the next semester and went to work.

    That was fine and dandy until I decided to go back to school a couple of years later. Well by this point I had finical responsibilities and managed to burn a few bridges. I got stuck working to pay for school. It took me 7 years to finish once I started back. I started back at the community college and transferred back to the university. I never did dig myself of of the GPA hole at the university. I graduated with a 2.9 GPA, with out that first semester I would have been at 3.2. 2 F's and a D are pretty damaging to your GPA.

    The two classes I got an F in were no longer offered and I could not retake them. So I was stuck there.

    So whatever you do just don't walk away from college.

    If the the GSA is not doing it for you, find another group that works for you. There are all kinds of groups at college, and you are more than just your sexuality. If underwater basket weaving is your thing then join a underwater basket weaving group. I think finding a group you fit into will help.
     
  4. factwithinfiction

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    I like my GSA but I feel like I joined just because I want to meet guys and that's not what GSA is all about. I know that and I can't help feeling I've only been using it for that.

    Its hard to explain how I'm not contradicting myself. I want to go through college but then I'm asking myself "Why am I doing this?". I'm just sick of school and all the pressure and all of it already.

    And I know starfish, I went through that my freshman and sophomore years of high school. I can't just walk away from college but I'm feeling like I'm losing the reasoning of why I'm going there. I know this makes like 0 sense but I'm trying to put it in the best words possible.
     
  5. malachite

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    College isn't just about the classes you take and the people you get to know. Its about learning to manage your time with responability, while learning what you want to help get the job you want.
     
  6. Lexington

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    >>>My best friends from high school are still my best friends and even though they moved, I still keep in the closest of contact with them so being far apart obviously is doing more wonders than anything else...

    To which I'd ask "Why is that?" I mean, you're not required to become buddy-buddy with everybody in your dorm or anything, but seeing as how you tend to be around these fellow students a lot more, it's much more common to let the previous relationships cool awhile, and focus on making friends in this new "pool".

    >>>I know there's underlying problems that have to do with my social anxiety and paranoia...

    And I'm guessing this has a lot to do with it. Yeah, college is a strange, different, and sometimes difficult place. But it's also supposed to be exciting and challenging (in a positive sense). And part of that involves getting to know a whole different group of people, and finding out new things about yourself. Do you think you're actively shunning your fellow students? Are you in a dorm? Do you have a roommate?

    Lex
     
  7. factwithinfiction

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    I'm going to community college right now so I'm still living at home with my folks for a couple of more years. I'm subtly trying to talk to new people but I still have that anxiety left over from high school. I mean I don't see why having my best friends from high school still be my best friends is such a bad thing. My best friend has been my best friend since I was in kindergarden so I'm not gonna just toss out a friendship like that (I know that's not what you meant but still).
     
  8. Lexington

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    It's not exactly the case of "throwing away old friendships in favor of new ones". It's simply starting a new batch of them. It's true that sometimes the old ones can occasionally take a back burner to new ones, but certainly strong relationships from before college can and do remain strong afterwards.

    That said, community college (ironically) tends not to foster too much sense of community, so it's perhaps not surprising that you're not forming many bonds with anybody at your new school.

    Lex
     
  9. Fintan

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    Dude. You've been there for four weeks. College has barely even started yet! haha!

    Providing you selected a programme that you are interested in, these years will be fantastic and will put you on the right track in life. Stick with it.

    Trust me.

    During the first month, everyone feels a bit out of sorts, but college has -way- -way- -way- more to offer than high school! Get out there and experience it!
     
  10. x2x2x2x2y2

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    ^This.

    ^And this.


    It's only been the first few weeks. I say ride it out for a while. Give it a little time and maybe you're motivation/interest will kick back in. But make sure you're doing what you want/like to do, whatever that is.