I posted a day or two ago that I thought it was a good time to finally come out to my parents. Unfortunately, the opportunity didn't present itself and I failed to do so :bang:. The thing is, I have many reasons to tell them and no reasons not to, except that it is awkward to bring up such a personal issue with them. The thing is, I feel if I keep with the way I'm going, I'm not going to come out to them until next summer. So I was driving back to college today thinking maybe I should just get this whole thing over with by sending them a letter through the mail and talking about it with them over the phone. I just think that'd be way easier for me and it would make it a lot less awkward. But I talked to my friends about it and they said it would be hurtful to my parents. I really don't see that, but I'm worried they might be right. But I wanted to hear y'all's opinion about this. Is it ok to come out to parents this way from long distance?
Hi there! First off, sorry to hear that you didn't get the opportunity/chance to come out to your parents the other day. (*hug*) Yes, it would be perfectly alright to come out to your parents from long distance and with a letter. Writing a letter can be as personal as coming out in person. The advantage that a letter has is that it gives you the chance to think about as to how you want to phrase things, what do you want to tell them and how much you would like to tell them at this stage. You can include in the letter as much as you like. Also and depending on how your parents will take the news, it gives them the chance to reflect on it. A good way to end the letter would be to mention to them that you do want to talk to them in person as well and that you will call them to talk about it. EC has a resource page with coming out letters written by members to their parents. You will find them here. Maybe have a look at them. If you want you can also post a draft of your letter here, and we can give you some more feedback on it. Hope this helps a bit.
Personally, I think it depends on the kind of relationship you have with your parents. If you're close to them(or vice versa) than that's probably not a good idea. If you're not too close to them, than I say go for it.
Thanks, guys. I agree with Mirko – a letter would just make everything so much easier. I don't know how "close" we are, because close is relative. I mean we get along well and we're open to each other when discussing politics and family issues, but we have never talked about anything this personal before. The most personal issues I discuss with them now is rarely bringing up issues relating to my friends. They really do care a lot about me, though, and vice-versa. I'm thinking that my dad would actually prefer a letter so he isn't "put on the spot". Though, I bet my mom would probably rather be told in person, but I'm thinking I can mention in the letter why I didn't bring it up at home. I'm thinking about saying that because I am coming out to them, our relationship can get much closer – that the reason why I've been a bit distant the last few months is because I have been keeping this from them.
I think its fine. I came out in an email. Things worked out about a million times better that i expected. I can post a copy of it if you'd like - its a very long and comprehensive one though
Thanks. You don't have to post if you don't want, but it might be helpful. I'm not sure but i think I might have seen it in a thread you started a few weeks back (could be wrong though). I already know what I want to say and I'm expecting it to be relatively short. So if y'all think it would be ok I might actually do it! Maybe I'll write a draft tonight...
Just wrote a quick draft. I don't know what I'm actually going to send (and if I'm really going to send it), but I'd like to hear your feedback. And I still want more input about whether or not this is an acceptable way to come out... Thanks guys for your input. Just the thought of being completely out is so exciting!
Hi there! I think it's a great letter. I have made a few suggestions, and rearranged a couple of sentences but of course feel free to ignore them.
Thanks Mirko! I really appreciate it. I'm actually trying to get them to come visit me this weekend and maybe I can try one more time to tell them face-to-face. If not, then I will send them the letter! Either way I'll update y'all on how it goes and I really appreciate the support and feedback!
My son came out to me with a few sentences in an e-mail that he sent to us all. We all lived in the same house. A letter will be fine....just write from the heart. Try not to judge what they will say or how they will react. Just tell them you love them and that is why you are sharing this very personal thing about your life. Good luck!
Thanks beckyg! It didn't happen this weekend when I saw them, but after hearing what you all have to say and talking with my friends some more, I am going to send them a letter. I can't wait!
Strike that. Just talked to a close friend and I'm going to give them the letter in person next time I see them (which is soon). Sorry for flip-flopping... but thanks so much for your input! I'm writing the letter now!
I need to get on top of coming out to my parents... Let us know how it goes! Trying to look at it from an outsider's point of view, I don't see why any parent would be mad at their kid from that letter.
I'm not out to anyone, since I'm really only bicurious (I think ) but I think if I was a parent, I would want my son/daughter to come to me face to face and tell me. Parents care about your life, and they're gonna love you no matter what. I'd rather hear something like this in person than in a letter, etc. Your parents wanna know the real you, and I think they deserve YOU telling them.
