gosh, So lately ive been getting thoughts that maybe im Bi not gay. and i hate it, im already coming out as gay and now i think im bi! I tried not thinking about it but my friend tells me that i probably am. The reason is because i have had crushes on girls and i have never had one on a guy. Then whenever i see a girl i think they are hot. I tell my friend that Shakira is my girlfriend if i was straight! lol. I would date a girl and i wouldnt mind, but i dont think i would have sex with them because i just find the vagina very appealing. Today i saw one of my HS teachers who i liked cuz she was awesome, and she is very hot. I never fantasized about her or anything but when i talk to her i feel nervous because shes pretty. ugh i hate this. I bet a lot of people go through this. but 10 years of thinking im gay and then 2 years of thinking im bi and then 1 year of gay, and now back to this! Im sick of it, i should now by now what i like and what i dont. what should i do!?:bang:
Hi there! Sexual identities can be fluid and can change over time and it is perfectly alright to go through different feelings. Try not to label yourself and just follow whatever feels right for you and try not to be influenced by what your friend tells you. You are the one that has to figure it out and be comfortable with it. If you start having feelings say for a girl, explore those. The same goes for a guy. If you find a girl and/or guy attractive take a mental note of it and over time you will be able to pull different feelings together. Keep in mind though that we can have different levels of emotional and physical attachments to different people. Maybe ask yourself, what kind of attachments are you forming towards different people. Maybe what could help you a bit is trying to embrace the changes that you are going through. In some ways, the feelings that you are experiencing allow you to learn more about yourself and can only make you stronger as a person. Hope this helps a bit! (*hug*)
oooh! i like it. i think your right. Im done labeling myself for now. Whatever comes, comes. Thanks Mirko, excellent advice!
I've had several of "these" similar conversations with my straight guy friends and none of them find the way a vagina looks actually attractive. They like the sex and the idea of...well I'm not gonna ellaborate on that but you get my point I hope. So just cause you don't like the way a vagina looks, doesn't mean that you don't wanna... Anyway, back to the topic at hand. When i was finding it hard to accept my sexuality, I would always try and force my attractions to be specific and that didn't help me at all. I felt bound and restricted and though i tried, I never had full control of who i found attractive and it killed me inside. It wasn't until i just let things go did things start flowing the way they are supposed to be. Labels bound and restrict you to their parameters and that isn't always a good thing. When you label yourself as gay, you bind and restrict yourself to all that means "gay". If you want to, I'd suggest let the label slip a little bit and live life as it is. Don't look at a girl and think they are hot then automatically dismiss it because you are "gay". Let things be. Like the guy above said, if you find someone attractive take note of it and give everything a chance. If it happens that you just think some girls a pretty and want nothing else of it then so be it, but if you are actually attracted to women and don't wanna do anything cause you're "gay", then you sir are doing yourself a disservice. Just let things go they way the gay, if you happen to find a girl that you actually start liking then you might just be bisexual!!! If it happens that you're not then no harm done. I for one have fancied a lot more guys than girls yet i've ended up falling in love with far more women than guys. So don't let your label restrict you is all I'm trying to say (!)
I had this same issue. I met a girl I thought she was really cool then I started thinking about her THAT way. It confused the hell outta me. But, someone told me, "you think too much!" SMACK. You ever said you have to be one thing forever? So, you I.D. yourself as gay does that mean you have to gay forever? Don't so attached to a label that your afraid to change it. Nothing in life is constant. Made me feel better, I hope it does for you.
