god i dont know how to explain, im 24 and always fancied women as far back as i can remember, a few years ago i got major depression ( around 20yo) and im just so confused... i mean i watch gay porn alot but could never except being with a guy....cos i dont fancy guys....like....i dont get up in the morning and go into the city and look at guys ass's or crotches or faces....i dont find a mans face pretty at all....but then again i find myself looking at the porn...i mean ive had issues with myself BOOZE/BIT OF DRUGS blah blah but honest i dont think i or anyone can block out out gay thoughts that much ??? am i gay ? its like i find women really pretty so forth but my downstairs aint feeling it and the thought of being with a dude in real life doesnt do it for me no sarcy replies please..im looking for honest help
Welcome to EC! Well, I only have your one short-ish post to go on, but let me give you my thoughts. The full term for gay is "homosexual". And notice what's smack dab in the middle of that word. "Sex". It's not homo-like-ual, or homo-finds-pretty-ual, or homo-settle-down-with-ual. It's homosexual. Because it relates specifically to what you're sexually interested in. And right now, that appears to be guys. Watching gay porn is getting you off, and so it would appear it's guys that are doing it for you right now. You don't need to be inexorably drawn to guy's faces or crotches or butts - I almost never am. Ends up I'm just not that visually attuned. And I can certainly find women attractive. My partner and I often go to burlesque shows, which basically consist of women taking their clothes off, and we both find some of the women downright stunning. But yeah - nothing going on south of the equator. They're pretty the way a painting or a work of art is pretty. It's not uncommon to run into guys who think "I just can't see myself with a guy". So I'm going to suggest something to you - try it on. Be gay. For a few days, just give it a try and see how it fits. You don't have to tell anybody else you're doing this. Just look in the mirror each morning and say "I'm gay". Feel free to size up or check out guys as you're out and about. And when you look at gay porn, give into it. Completely. Go totally apeshit with it. Imagine doing that guy (or that guy doing you) with every fiber of your being, and when you're done, don't immediately close the screen and "revert to straight". Enjoy the afterglow. Lay there all sticky, and reflect back on it, and think "that kicked ass". Because solo sex is still sex, and sex kicks ass. Lemme know how it goes. Lex
What Lex said pretty much covers it (as per usual), but I'm gonna voice my agreement and share a bit of my story. When I first accepted/noticed/realized/word-thingy my attraction to guys it was always, and exclusively to the face and head. That's still where my main focus is. However, as I've gotten more comfortable being attracted to guys my attention has migrated downward and I check guys out "below the neck" considerably more (though above will always be my first priority).
