Loneliness is a big struggle for me. Sometimes I can go for weeks feeling awesome and on top of the world, and then ::bam:: it's like falling off a cliff and I'm extraordinarily lonely again and on the edge of depression. Feel like I need a life goal, but I don't have one because I don't know what I want. I don't have many single friends left who aren't at least seriously dating someone, and at this point, many have children. So I don't have a lot of people who really know what's up. I feel like I do want to have a partner, someone I can be dedicated to, though not necessarily get married, and I feel like I might want kids sometime, and I have nothing on the horizon. I'm not into the bar scene, and uneasy with the online thing because I don't know even if I want to date a guy or girl and with online dating you have to chose one to search for. It's frustrating and I can't help feeling lonely and very stuck in my life. :help: Anyone with similar experience, or advice?
Hey, I know I have posted on your threads quite a lot, so I hope you are not bored of my advice yet, I know its not always the best. I used to feel a lot like you, I used to think I would never have a serious partner of my own and little by little my friends got more involved in their own lives and we grew apart, thats not to say I dont have any friends but they always seemed quite busy. I am not really into bars and clubs either, but I would have to put in some support of online dating, after all you are not committing yourself to anything, you can put a profile on and search for girls it doesnt mean to say you have to date any of them and at the same time you could do the same to guys. I think sometimes or it certainly was for me, a big step to make a profile to say actively look for a girl but I think chatting to a few online even if it goes no further that exchanging a few emails can help ease you into it and help you make up your mind.
Thank you. I don't tire of any advice, I just appreciate it. I tried online dating with guys in the past (years ago) and mostly all the ones I came into contact with wanted was to be physical, or they were desperate. I'm scarcely interested in the physical at all. I just set one up for women. I do think I'd rather be with a woman right now but hesitant that it might be the same annoying thing with the online attempt. Did you ever find a relationship (hope you don't mind my asking :\)?
No problem at all, ask away. I do have a girlfriend now yes :icon_bigg, I actually met her through EC here on this site, although I wasnt on EC for that reason. Once I met her obviously I removed my profile so I wasnt on there that long, but for the short time I was on there I chatted to a few people, a couple were nothing more that a couple of emails which then fizzled out, but there was 1 other girl which I chatted to a lot, we would never have ended up dating but it was really nice just to have someone to chat to and at that point I wasnt really out and we discussed that a lot and she told me all about her coming out and then we discussed all sorts of things and it was nice just to almost give myself that I could chat to gay girls and I would be ok. I do think though if I hadnt met my girlfriend I would have persisted with my online account. If you have any other questions feel free to ask.
I can definitely relate to what you are saying. Feelings of loneliness creep up on me once every so often and it does feel a bit like falling of that cliff. I am giving the online dating thing a go but I find myself managing different accounts going back and forth between the straight site and the lesbian site. I guess it's all about meeting people in all different kinds of social settings. I used to be rubbish at that and preferred to stay at home instead of going out. I moved countries a lot and it was just easier to not invest in people and stay in. After a while I realized I do need to invest time and energy in meeting people and I joined a few meetup groups, have a meditation group where there are always people coming and going and have signed up to attend a get together of a new lesbian/bi group in my area. My social life is picking up and I'm meeting so many more people than a few years ago. The right person will come along ... but I have to put myself out there. Are there opportunities where you live to join LGBT-groups or any other social groups that you might be interested in? Not with the idea of finding the love of your life, but just to get to know more people, maybe more singles who you have something in common with. Good luck!
I've had some luck with #######. You can ID as bisexual there and I just got done with a date with a guy who seems to be in it for more than just sex (though he seemed into that too ). Loneliness is a big problem for a lot of people, especially as our friends get older and marry (last year I felt like the only person in my circle who wasn't seeing someone), so you're definitely not alone.
