Is it possible for a guy to be 'straight curious'? I mean, is it possible for a guy to go from straight to gay? Mhm. So life loves to throw convoluted problems at me and, apparently, see how well I can mess things up. So before, I asked about an older guy; the differences were brought up in the first place and it wore off and I moved on. Now, I’m set with yet another confusing guy: this time, he’s straight. Or so, he claims to be. To be fair, he calls himself ‘straight curious’ but I still find it to be the same thing. We’ve talked for a bit, and he seems to really like me. He texts me all the time, and we talk for hours on the phone; most of the time it’s light and carefree, but it gets a bit serious at times. He gets a bit jealous when I mention exes, and after much pleading, we met up last night at his request. He was the same flirty & carefree guy he was on the phone; just a bit on the affectionate side (a lot of touching, and a lot of attention). I specifically brought up my dislike for relationships with closested guys, and made a point of expressing my confusion with his applied label. He shrugged it off, and changed the subject. Another time when I said “Hi Mr. Straight Guy”, he replied “its Mr. Straight Curious Guy….for now .”. I’m not entirely sure if he’s being honest, or if he’s merely trying to entice me into bed with him. I know he wanted things to go that way when I met him, but I kept things light and we didn’t go for anything more than a hug that night. Which is another confusing thing, as why would a guy who’s merely experimenting be so affectionate? Why would he put in the effort to while knowing there wouldn’t be any payout? I mean, there are lots of easier guys out there; and he’s very gorgeous, so I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard for him to find someone to sleep with. I’m a bit apprehensive because I know I’m beginning to like like him, and if its nothing but a game, I really don’t want to get involved in it. Thanks, you guys (and girls) rock.
He's gay and closeted. Or, it's possible he's actually out and playing an elaborate ruse, as you suggested, to get you in the sack. Either way, he's not straight, and if he's on the level, he just can't come to terms yet with being gay. That's a very, very common scenario for guys who are in the process of coming out. "bargaining" is the third of the five stages of loss ( the stages are denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance) and so it's possible he's wanting to act out, to have some form of same-sex experience, and yet is still trying to cling to his straight identity ("Well, i'm still straight, but I can be curious and try out what it's like to have sex with guys"). And someone in denial or bargaining would, of course, deny being gay... but it's interesting that he also denies being straight, so he knows something is up. Being with a closeted boyfriend, when you're straight, can be a challenge. Your needs and his ability to respect your relationship publicly will be very difficult. Yet, some people can pass through this stage very quickly. A friend of mine was contacted by a "straight" guy who was looking for friends. Within 2 or 3 weeks, this "straight" person had come out to most of his friends, and within 2 months, was out to everyone, so it doesn't have to be a long and painful process. Just know what you're getting into if you go forward with him.
I think he likes you but he's still getting used to it all/is scared. The question is whether you want to help him through it all or go for someone who's already out.
so im a straight guy but have always been curious, had 1 event in college but that was it. granted mine was with a closeted guy but he had never been with a girl, i on the other hand was kind of a whore throughout college so.. though regardless of what i am or who i am or what i think, thats not the point of this post. the point is that even if hes straight meeting up with you is something that he obviously wanted to do. he was really affectionate because he probably felt the most comfortable around you because you know his 'secret' but not everyone in the room did. all im saying is that the guy likes you or likes the idea of being with someone like you; hes just trying to figure it out so yes, he probably is acting out a little more to see how it feels both publicly and emotionally. the one time in college for me, i thought about the idea for a long time while texting the guy and calling him. then one day i was like i want to see what happens, couple shots and drinks later stuff happened and im still decididng if thats something that i want. for guys that are more confused than others its more of getting over that "disgust," if you will, of doing things with another guy. dont beat him up for it, but i do agree that he may be just feeling out the situation, but who knows, he could feel it out with you, and you both may have a relationship for a long time. or he could say actually, i dont like this, and then thats it. like others said, its up to you if youre going to help him figure himself out. im not saying sleep with him, im just saying thats maybe something thats on his mind. feel out the situation and talk to him about it, find out what hes actually trying to get out of talking to you, maybe even ask if you two tried things and it didn't work out, would he still want to be friends, good luck
