What's the real answer on the promiscuity of gay men? Stereotypes are making it out like I'll never be able to find a man who will wait for sex and won't cheat soon after. I'm still in the process of discovering myself (rather late, admittedly) so I don't have much experience in homosexual relationships. Or any, really. I'm just worried I'll be single all my life.
Its a stereotype and like all stereotypes it is partly based on fact, but not EVERY single gay man you meet will be a walking stereotype. Also, keep in mind homosexuality isn't the reason for people being promiscuous, but I won't go into that right now.
Promiscuity in Humans. I would think there is little difference based on gender or sexuality. Culture perhaps. But I think the whole promiscuity of gay men is a stereotype and only that.
On average, yes, gay men ARE more promiscuous than straight men. This isn't because we're hornier or have looser morals, I don't think, but for a host of other reasons. For one, gay men tend not to worry about "reputation". While a straight man might have to try to convince his girlfriend that he won't "kiss and tell", and that he "really has feelings for her", two gay men can usually just cut to the chase and say "you wanna?" If anything, being sexually active can actually enhance a gay man's reputation among certain groups. That said - and again, speaking really generally - the older the gay guy, the less likely he is to be promiscuous. This doesn't mean there aren't 18-year-olds who want to settle down, or 50-year-olds who aren't just looking for a good lay. But it seems gay men tend to "sow their wild oats" earlier in life, and as they get older, they are more agreeable to the idea of settling down into a relationship. I don't know how old you are, but just know your odds improve as the guy's age goes up. Lex
As the others have said, its not all that uncommon, you just have to find the right guy. If your looking on hookup sites and at clubs, thats probably not going to yield very good results. My first r/s was when I was 21 (also a late starter) and lasted 4 years.
Good advice from everyone so far. I'll also tell you that, among the gay teens and young adults I know in real life, there are plenty who aren't at all promiscuous, and would never cheat on their partners. You can definitely find quality people, it just takes a little longer. And based on my experiences, and those of my friends, you'll be a lot less likely to find the quality (non-cheating/non-promiscuous) people in settings other than bars, clubs, or situations where drinking and such goes on... there seems to be a pretty strong correlation, at least among younger gay guys, between promiscuity and alcohol or drugs.
>>>you'll be a lot less likely to find the quality (non-cheating/non-promiscuous) people in settings other than bars, clubs, or situations where drinking and such goes on... Allow me to just interject that one CAN be promiscuous without being cheating - and, I'd like to think, while still being "quality". There's nothing wrong with wanting to play the field and not get into a relationship. The main issue is being forthcoming about it. If you're just looking to "have a good time", you should make sure the guys (or gals) you approach are aware of that. Lex
But can we necessarily afford to do so with the high rates of disease transmission in the gay community? I would say this applies across the board as well, especially in the age of HIV.
>>>But can we necessarily afford to do so with the high rates of disease transmission in the gay community? Yes, if you're willing to take the steps to protect yourself and your partner. To wit, condoms and lube, every single time. Lex
uhm well most men straight or gay, really like sex. Typically the boys chase after the girls for sex, and the girls chase after the boys for romance. My hypothesis is that when typical men happen to be gay, they still want sex, and they can get it from each other no strings attached! hence, promiscuity. Although for my boyfriend and I it's not like that, but it was for him in the past. For every rule there's exceptions.
