Hi guys! So I went out to dinner last weekend (first date I've ever been on). We had an ok time. It was just a little bit awkward – not too bad for a first date in my opinion. It's just looking back on it now it didn't seem much like a date. I know he really likes me, but I don't feel much of a connection with him. I just don't have any feelings for him. I could possibly see some feelings developing in the future, but right now I really don't care. So my friends recommended that I should avoid another date and just stay friends. So I guess my question for you all is: if you don't have feelings for someone, should you avoid a second date and just stay friends (and maybe in the future see where that leads)? Also, if he were to ask me on another date, what should I say? He's had a really hard time with his parents and stuff and I don't want to hurt his feelings.
So, you went on a date and didn't feel a spark, but he did. This happens. In my opinion, just let him know you don't feel the chemestry. Thinking thst you'll suddenly develop feelings of intimacy later on isn't a great way to enter itto a relationship. Neither of you did anything wrong, this is just one of those things that happens.
Hi there! If you don't have any feelings for him or don't feel any attraction, then maybe it would be best just to be friends for now. If you have the feeling that you don't care and don't feel anything in terms of a connection, it wouldn't be fair to him or to you, to keep going on dates. Having gone a date and having started to get to know him, is already a good basis from which to start building a friendship. Maybe try building a friendship first and try to get to know him some more by becoming and being his friend. As you have mentioned, feelings and/or a connection could develop down the road. So maybe let him know that you don't feel the same way or that you don't feel a connection at the moment, but still would like to develop a friendship with him. I hope this helps a bit!
If you liked him - just "not like that" - there's nothing wrong with telling him that. "I did enjoy our date, but I just didn't feel any sort of attraction or spark. I would like to stay friend, and maybe hang out with you as friends, if you're up for that." Lex
Thanks guys. These things are so simple but I like to confirm it since I'm a bit unexperienced with this stuff. The only thing I'm thinking now is that I might regret not going out with him. I have no idea when the next opportunity will come where I will find someone who wants to be with me. I mean I kind of like him but there's not really a connection when I'm with him.
Hi there! Well, if you don't feel a connection (yet) why not just go out as friends, and try to get to know him better that way. You can still go out as friends. Have a great time, and as you get to know him better you will be able to see where your own feelings are. You can create opportunities to get to know him better by asking him if he would be up for a lunch, coffee, a movie, or even just a walk. I think it would be perfectly alright to say to him that you are inexperienced with dating and would like to take it really slow and would like to go out as friends for now. As for trying to find someone with whom you could have a connection or feel like that there is something more than what you are feeling for him right now, maybe try joining a LGBT group, or LGBT social events in your area. If possible, try to make a few more friends within the LGBT community.
>>>The only thing I'm thinking now is that I might regret not going out with him. I have no idea when the next opportunity will come where I will find someone who wants to be with me. If the main thing you like about him is that he likes you, I can say with great certainty that, at this juncture, you don't like him enough to consider another date-date. Feel free to keep things going as friends, though. Maybe something will develop, maybe something won't. Lex
