Masculinity?

Honestly, I'd say at least 70% of the guys on EC are passionate about their masculinity and vehememtly deny that that have anything to do with more feminine gay guys, while bemoaning the fact that they are the only masculine gay guy around. They're not, and you're not. Why aren't there more masculine gay guys your age around? There are, but they're not making it obvious, exactly the same way that you don't make your sexuality obvious.

It's easy to pick up on a guy's sexuality if he's the more fabulous type, and if you assume all the more feminine guys you see are gay and all the masculine guys are straight, it's easy to draw the conclusion that there are no masculine gay guys around. But that's not true - it's just that you're not picking up on the masculine gay guys because they don't show it as much. The best way to show yourself that you're not the only masculine gay guy around is to go to a place you know most of the guys will be gay or bi (like a support group, social group or gay bar). They're not femme-only, and you'll probably be surprised by the number of guys there you'd walk right past on the street without ever thinking they're gay.

 

And the funny thing is that most likely, one of your "straight" friends might be saying the same thing you're saying right now. Maddy hit the nail in the head. If you're not out at least to a small group of friends it will be hard to find masculine gay guys around because they will not show their sexuality or flaunt it as many others.

Talk, talk, talk! Meet new friends or make a "gay" friend web. You're over 21 so you can go to gay bars (maybe there is a straight girl friend you have that can keep you company the first time you go) or if you're in college there should be a GSA, or there could be a LGBT club in your city or neighborhood.

And when you find one, because you will, find one with a younger gay brother you can hook me up with

 

Masculine gay reporting

The other 2 replies summed it up, they are out there, they just dont advertise the fact. It took me a good couple of hours chatting to my straight friend when i came out to him, to convince him i wasn't joking....Likewise most other people i tell think i'm joking.

Lol'd so hard at this

 

The way I usually try to explain it is this. Let's say you have a favorite band - Lex and the Gargoyles. And, for whatever reason, they've only got one band T-shirt - a really ugly pink and green glittery thing. You might end up thinking "I'd like to meet more fans of this band, but the only ones I'm finding have such horrible taste in clothes. Apparently, I'm the only L&tG fan who doesn't wear garish clothing."

Lex

 

Like SAGUY84 said, masculine gay reporting here!
It is more difficult to find other masculine guys, because they're not so easy to spot! The best thing you can do is try to meet as many other gay/bi guys as you can, either at bars or at LGBT clubs, whatever. Expand your social networks, and if you meet lots of not-so-masculine guys to start with, don't worry. Maybe they can point you in the right direction!

 

Tis lonely to be more of a masculine gay then the fems. All my real life experiences with gay people are the flamers with lisps and wimpy small kids. But I guess it's cause we don't we seem that apart from the regular heteros. Your best bet is like gay sports bars and just expanding your horizons of resources.

 

Is there such thing as a "Gay Sport Bar"? O.O The closest thing to that here in El Salvador is... well... nothing.

 

The division between sexes annoys me.

Personally, I see nothing as feminine or masculine. I see it as you. That's it.

 

Where I live there's this gay bar that's called "The Lark" I believe, that my bro told me 'bout. I think he said it was a sports bar too.

 

Well that adds one more thing to the list of the must-see places. That's so cool, I imagine a Gay sport Bar here will be the place for many many hate crimes. Not only people are passionate for sports, but all gay people that publicly support a soccer team or w/e are seen as a disgrace for that team.

And for the OP: That is a good place to start if you're able to find a gay sport bar.

 

I'll briefly make the observation that many of the people I hear complaining that they can't find any other masculine gay guys...aren't quite as masculine as they seem to think they are. And the problem isn't that they're not all as masculine as all that. It's that...well, they seem to think that there's some sort of magical* "straight-acting gay club" that exists. And, once they find the club, they'd be given a passkey since they "obviously fit the standards".

Lex

* - magical not in a twinkly fairy kind of way. But magical in a beefy, muscular, warlock sort of way.

 

Haha, I've met a few of those. One of them swore he was masculine, and liked 'footy' but wasn't the case after i met him. Seems to me the flamers put it on to seem more attractive to the masculine guys that prefer other masculine guys....

 

>>>Haha, I've met a few of those. One of them swore he was masculine, and liked 'footy' but wasn't the case after i met him. Seems to me the flamers put it on to seem more attractive to the masculine guys that prefer other masculine guys....

And the problem ends up being that nobody ends up being interested in them. They don't "pull off" the masculine act very well, so people who might be attracted to that aren't. And people who would be interested in them as they actually are - and yes, there are plenty of those, as well - will be put off by the act, as well.

My over-reaching point is this - be you. Don't feel you have to put on a "what gay guys want" exterior to appear attractive. If your approach is "this is me, and I like me", that self-confidence will do far more towards getting others interested than any false exterior you try to slap on.

Lex

 

Thats actually what I've said to people. As long as your 'yourself', I dont care if your a little (or alot) camp

 

Another masculine guy here! :smilewave

I drink beer, watch sports and play fantasy football. When I started to come out to my friends they did not believe that I am gay. One of my best friend ask if I would still join the league we have been in. I told him yes and I would still kick his a$$. Being masculine and gay are two different things. One thing you should never do is change or pretend your something you are not...btw where is the nearest gay sports bar? I'm there.

 

Tis a lonely world we live in.

Do the same thing I did, I finally bit the bullet and went to my first gay bar/club about 3 years ago or so. Surprisingly, not everyone there was prancing around with glow sticks and glitter (granted you will see your share of fems in gay bars) but you will also see a surprising number of people that are just like you. If I had not seen these people in a gay club I would have never known they were gay because they were dressed just like me...nothing but a t-shit, jeans, at a ratty baseball cap. Many of the "straight" acting gays I met that night are still friends of mine to this day. I can't really offer anymore than what has already been said, but you should try venturing out and realize that you are not the only one...tons of people out there that are gay or bi and you would never suspect it.

 

I don't understand this part of your post at all.

Why wouldn't you want someone to confide in you that they were gay or bi when you hadn't suspected it before? Isn't that in fact what you're frustrated with here? The fact that you don't know any "straight acting" gay or bi guys?

If you want to meet guys who are like you for potential dates, then you need to be open and honest and "out". How else are the other more 'masculine' guys to know you're looking for them?

 

>>>Why wouldn't you want someone to confide in you that they were gay or bi when you hadn't suspected it before? Isn't that in fact what you're frustrated with here? The fact that you don't know any "straight acting" gay or bi guys?

As one person astutely pointed out about gay pride parades, "If your biggest complaint is that the parade doesn't look like you, the very first thing you should do is get in the parade so it DOES look more like you."

Lex

 

Sort of an aside: That's true Lex. And it reminds me that next year I really should sign up to participate in the Toronto Pride Parade. As a corporate member of 'Pride At Work Canada' I have the opportunity to walk with them.