I would have asked about this sooner, but I have been really busy lately. So, I am pretty much out. All my friends know, and I am happy to tell anyone that asks that Im gay. Only been out for a little while, so Im still getting used to it. Coming out to my friends wasnt very hard, at least not as hard as I had expected. What does scare me is coming out to my family. It scares the hell out of me just thinking about it. Im not very close to any of my family members, so I cant imagine ever talking to them on such a personal basis. I hear about people coming out to their siblings, and getting support from them before coming out to parents. But my only siblings are brothers, and a couple of the least touchy feely brothers you would ever find. I dont think I would ever be able to come out to them. I guess it is really the conversation I fear, not being out to them. Like I said, I have never been very close to my family, so I cant really talk to them about important things like this. The idea of coming out to my parents is even more terrifying to me. I wouldnt dream of being able to have any sort of convo with my dad, and my mum would mak me feel really unomfortable be being too supportive. I have thought of sending them an email explaining things, but I feel like that would be pointless, we live in the one house, so there isnt much use for emailing each other, and they would get on my back about why I didnt want to talk to them face to face. I just really dont know what to do, I cant think of any way to do this, or anyway I could get around doing it. Thanks for taking the time guys, and any advice would be much appreciated.
Do you have any close friends you could (or already have) come out to? It helps to have anyone to rely on, having good sibs is just a perk.
Emailing could work. And if your parents ask, just tell them that you were scared to tell them in person. It's not uncommon. Like Liam said, do you have any close friends to rely on?? If you really wanted to, he/she could be there for support when you tell your parents(if you don't email them).
Emailing isn't a bad thing, and especially if you think you wouldn't be able to get across what you need to say in person. If i was you, i'd tell your brothers first. Assuming there pretty close to your age, they'd be fairly accepting being from this generation. The point about not being touchy feely brothers does't really come into it...... When it comes to telling your parents, you could just print out your post above, because it already says all it needs to say to explain to them One thing to remember when coming out, you've had a while to deal with it and accept it, so your family might need a while to adjust to it aswell, so dont be too worried if their initial reaction is a bad one...
>>>What does scare me is coming out to my family. It scares the hell out of me just thinking about it. Im not very close to any of my family members, so I cant imagine ever talking to them on such a personal basis. If you're not all that close to family members, there's actually no big hurry to come out to them. My general definition on being out is "letting those closest to you know, and not caring who else knows". If you're not close to your family members, this simply moves them from the first group to the second. They can find out through indirect ways, most easily once you have a boyfriend. Once that happens, you can say things like "my boyfriend" to them, and that'll be their way of finding out. Lex
I think Lex has a point; if you're not close to your family, maybe going out of your way to tell them isn't a priority. But of course that's your call. I have two brothers, and while we talk about lots of stuff, relationships, feelings, etc are not things we talk about. So when I came out, they were surprised, but then they let me know that it was totally fine, etc, and life went on as before. And if you think it would be easier for you to email your parents, by all means do that. Even if you live in the same house. But I'd suggest if they ask why you didn't just tell them, don't say you were scared. Say that writing it down was the way of making sure you said everything you wanted to say, in the way that you wanted to say it. That's a good reason for it, and one that doesn't worry your parents at all.
