How Can i come out? I'm New here I'm a lesbian iv'e been with a girl before and she's the only one that knows i dont see her now though. Help? x
Hi there, and welcome to EC. How do you come out? Well - simply put - you tell someone you're gay. I imagine you're really asking how do you summon the courage to actually tell someone. And that is not an easy question to answer. Hanging out here in EC will certainly help with that though. We're an awesome bunch, and you'll come to associate awesomeness with gayness - and pretty soon you won't feel nearly as self conscious about being a lesbian as you do right now. THEN you'll be ready to come out to people. Everyone is different and you'll be ready when you're ready. No set time line or agenda. What ever works for you.
Aw'h Thanks Yeah,I was meaning like how do you do it,It's really hard. I was about to tell before i asked if i could talk then i said its okay. Thanks,Again though. I'm so stressed about it too keep deleting my history so my mum cant come on the computer and see what iv'e been on like this and stuff,Scared if she comes in too. x
Hi and welcome,you have come to a great place here.Just reading a few earlier posts on coming out can help to give you some ideas. It is often easier to choose a close friend who you think will be accepting and not likely to out you,then come out in confidence.Remember the first is always the hardest,but it is a huge relief to get it off you mind. As far as family goes,you know them best but you could maybe start to watch for there reaction when gay related thing come up,positive/negative comments,acceptance/avoidance/disgust of open gays etc. Are there any other gay members in your family?if so have they been accepted?if so they could be a good start in coming out to family.
Hey welcome to EC. Its hard to come out, we have all been there, I mean some of us found it harder than others and some of us are still to do it. You are a lot further down the path than some, you have been with a girl and by the sounds of your post you want to come out you are just not sure how. Do you think your family/friends would react badly if you came out?
Well, it helped me to know who I wanted to come out to first. I started with a single friend I trusted then made it two then three. I tried comeing out in one grand sweep, but that proved unsuccessful
Yeah she used to be at my school but she moved i talk to her online though,i see her every month or something. I'm not really sure about family and i think some friends will be okay about it i know some wont. Lot's of people said stuff to Katie about her being bi. That was one of the reasons she moved school. XxXxxx
Hi there! I would suggest that you try coming out to one or two close friends, or friends that you can trust and know will be supportive, first before coming out to those who you know might not be as supportive. If you can, and if your school has a LGBT support group, may try joining them. If not or you don't feel comfortable with it, maybe try finding a support group in the community. A support group can be an important part of your support network on which you can rely on and draw support from. If you are unsure as to how your parents will react or what they might say, take it slow. Give it a bit of time before you come out to your parents. Perhaps start with building your support network first and then once you feel ready and comfortable with the idea of coming out to your parents, try coming out to them.
Yeah I'll tell a close friend,i just don't know what to say & when to say it. I don't think it does it could,i don't really go to groups or anything in school,plus If i go to the centre or that in my community i'd be so scared in case someone seen me go in. I'm still not sure what friend to tell,Yeah how long do you think i should wait? I think all the good support i can get is probably from here to be honest. I wouldn't like getting it in a public place if someone seen me. I'm not sure if there's a LGBT support group in my area but i know when you go to the Youth Club there's a support group ( It's for any problem in general) i could ask when I'm at Youth,but there would be people there.
Hi there! It really doesn't matter how you come out or what you say to your friend. When I came out the first time to a friend, I just said "I like guys." You can create the opportunities by taking your friend aside, and asking your friend if you can talk. You could ask the friend to meet you outside of school, or somewhere in the city say at a coffee shop. Maybe go for a walk and try to talk with your friend during that walk. It really depends on how comfortable you are with coming out at this stage though. If you don't feel comfortable with coming out at this stage give it some time. Before you come out to a friend, stand in front of a mirror and just say out loud, 'today I'm going to come out to a friend' and see how you feel. If you feel okay and comfortable, try going for it. If not, give it a bit of more time. Over time, you will become more comfortable with coming out to friends and others. It really depends on when you feel ready to take that step. Remember though that there is no rush. I can understand it is scary. Been there myself. Being afraid that someone could see me going into the LGBT support group room/office was my largest worry. But the more I went into the room/office the less worried I became. As with everything else it will take time to get over that fear. As you start coming out and become comfortable with people knowing the fear will dissipate. Yep, EC is a great place to draw support from and it is part of your support network. Hang out on EC for a while, become comfortable, and get to know some of the members here.
I'm not sure if im ready to or not,i just hate keeping it to myself. I think i will though not yet though I'm going to make sure it's the right time.
I think that's a good approach. Keep hanging out on EC. Talk about thing with other members, like this you are no longer keeping it just to yourself. Once you feel ready, and can say to yourself, 'I can do this', without questioning things, and you feel it is the right time' then start with coming out to a friend. But there is no rush. Take your time. It doesn't matter how long it will take. The most important thing is that you are comfortable with sharing this bit about yourself with friends and family. (*hug*)
