hey everyone, I really need help with something that's going on in my life right now. About a month ago I met this guy at the library. We started talking because we always saw each other studying for similar subjects there. We realized that we had a ton in common so we decided to add each other on Facebook. I also got his cell number. I started falling madly in love with him. I've never felt this with any crushes before I my entire life. We ended up talking about everything in our lives. Also, he started a music thread on Facebook for us to share music with each other since we have the same music tastes. He's insanely amazing. The way he phrases things and how real he is makes me love him even more. Another thing that's amazing about him is that he's a professional extreme skier and also surfs. And he's insanely cute. Anyways, getting to the point- I found out he was straight when I could of sworn he was goin to be gay. It literally crushed me. It's been taring me up inside and I can't handle it anymore. I ended up telling him that I was gay and that I liked him a ton and he was so nice about it. He said "no worries, so what if I'm straight and you're gay. It's not going to stop us from being friends." I've spoken to a bunch of friends and they all say the same thing: move on, just be his friend etc.. But I don't want to just be his friend. Now everytime I hang out with him I feel like crying. When I found out he was straight I literally felt like I was going to throw up. I can't stop thinking about him. I've NEVER met anyone like him in my life. When I look at his Facebook pics he's always surrounded by tons of friends, at a party, or like skiing with friends. He has such a fun life. I can't get over him. I know I'll never meet anyone as real as him and have as much in common as him. I really just don't know what to do. I'm in the worst depression I've ever been in. :help::icon_sad:
Hi there! Given the feelings that you are having for him, create as much as distance from him as you can. This might mean not hanging out with him, not calling him, not looking at his facebook page, not uploading or sharing music, and maybe telling him 'I would like to be friends with you but I need distance right now. I will call you and take you up on your offer.' The good thing is, he already knows that you are having a crush on/feelings for him and he has given you the best answer. Take that answer, and keep it, until you can be around him, without having the same feelings that you are having at the moment. In moving on, spend more time with your friends, make a few more friends by perhaps joining or becoming more active in a local LGBT group. Remind yourself over and over again that he is straight. It is hard getting over a crush, and it is perfectly alright to shed a few tears. It might actually help with moving on. You will meet someone, or get to know someone with whom you will have similar connections and attachments. Keep looking for that guy with whom it will work out. (*hug*)
I agree with Mirko, distance yourself from him. I understand what you're going through, but you gotta get over him somehow. Try to move onto someone who can like you back.
I agree with Mirko. You've told this guy you're gay. That was an opening for him to tell you he's gay; he didn't. You told him you liked him and that was the second opening...he didn't make any indication that he was attracted to you physically. You need to find someone who will actually love you back; you live in San Francisco, surely it can't be that difficult?
Most definitely create some distance. When you take a week away from contacting or anything, get it out of your system, build up strength and you will come into the situation refreshed!
You're clearly a really sweet person (I "awww"ed at your post). You will be able to find someone who loves you back. However much it may feel like he was perfect, there are other fish in the sea.
