Just been asked out on a date. Are gay dates any different from straight ones? (I've never been on either). Should we go to a bar I'm familiar with or somewhere where i dont know anyone, given my town is small and I'm bound to see someone I know, which might be weird. I literally have no clue! This feels like big deal to me and the closest I have ever come to a potential relationship. I've been talking to this guy online and we seem to have a lot in common but I'm not sure if I like him in that way. Should I go anyway for the experience? I dont want to lead him on... Help!
A couple things. First off, keep him abreast. You've been talking online, you have got a lot in common, but you're not sure if you're feeling any sparks. It happens. So tell him so. Then he'll at least understand where you're coming from. In regards to the date itself, let me give you some examples of times I've gone out with guys recently. * There was a new, rather gimmicky restaurant in town, so I met another guy there to try it out. * I met a guy at a Korean restaurant, ate dinner, then went to a concert with him. * There was a new exhibit at a museum that we both thought sounded interesting, so we went to take a look. Afterwards, we stopped at a new shop we thought we'd like to check out. * Our local sporting team was having open tryouts and practice, so we bought some snacks and went to watch how that went. * We had a rather nice dinner, then went to an art exhibit being held by a friend. These might not all sound like ideal dates to you, but I'm guessing they'd sound like good ideas for dates for the right people, right? Well, here's the kicker - the first four things I listed weren't dates at all! In all four cases, the other person wasn't my partner - it was a straight friend. (Oddly, all of them were different straight friends.) We were just two friends hanging out, doing something together that we both liked. Only the last one was with my partner, and thus could possibly be classified as an actual "date". Two points to be made here. One, don't panic about "being seen". Because straight guys go out and do stuff in pairs all the time, too. And, as my friends have shown, straight guys sometimes go out with gay guys - it doesn't make it a "date". Yeah, you might have some "splainin' to do" if you're seen dressed up at a romantic restaurant in a cozy booth. But otherwise, you'll just be two people out doing stuff. Two, dates should be fun. You've been talking with him, and so presumably are getting a good idea what stuff he might like to do. Is playing darts at the pub something he'd be interested in? Would he rather go wander around the shopping district? Go to an amusement park? Do something athletic? Talk about it. The best dates are both fun for both parties, AND they involve some sort of activity. That way, when conversation lags (and it will), you can turn attention to the activity. The merchandise in the shop you're at, or the rides you've been on, or the last time you played this sport. Lex
