Im know im ready to come out. I have made plans to write a letter to my parents(even though my mom already knows) because Im going to be away from friday night to sunday night next weekend. Problem? I have no idea where do start. My goal was to this weekend tell my older brother via. facebook message because its the only way and I cant even do that. Im so so so ready to be out to my family but something is holding me back and I dont know what it is. Im pretty sure they will be supportive and I know my brother will be but I just cant do it. So i guess my question(s) is how can I overcome this fear and then how would one start to write a coming out letter?
Mom & Dad/Brother/Whoever: I am gay. But I am still me. I still have the same virtues, flaws, dreams and fears. I am still your same daughter/sister/whatever and I want to share this with you to make our bonds stronger. I wish your path of acceptance is smoother than what mine was, and if I can answer any question please let me know. Finally I can't stress this enough: I love you Mom & Dad/Brother/whoever. Hugs, If_I_Had_A_Dime. That's a basic, can't_go_wrong letter. But the best coming out letters are the ones you write with you heart, at the correct time and at the correct place. If you still feel that there is something not letting you take that step besides fear, then wait. If all you feel is "uncertainty" on how things will go, then shake it off, type it up and hit "send". You'll be amazed at how people can react, and how pessimists we can be. Also remember: If you make a big deal of it, most likely the other people will. If you don't then most likely they won't. Good luck! And if you feel comfortable enough, please keep us updated on how things go =)
Hi there! Jede has already given you the basic letter form. However, you can add as much information as you want. It really depends on what you want your parents to know. Under the EC Resource section there a few coming out letters. Have a look. You are more than welcome to use them as a guide. Maybe, and to start writing the letter, just brainstorm for a minute, and write down all your thoughts and the things you want to say. Then, start putting the thoughts together. If you want you are more than welcome to post a draft letter for feedback. Maybe come out to your brother first, and then to your parents. Coming out to your brother beforehand might give you that little extra encouragement and motivation. Before you come out to your brother and your parents, try to stand in front of a mirror and just say out lout 'today, I want to come out to my brother via facebook.' 'Today, I want to give my parents the letter.' After each time you do that see how you feel. If it feels right, go for it. But if you feel it is perhaps not the right time, give it a bit of time. Keep reminding yourself that you know that your brother and parents are most likely going to be supportive.
Really imagine how great it will be to be out to them and have the ability to truly be yourself. I mean it, sit there and imagine it. Brother: Now write the message and if you start considering not doing it go back into imagining again. Once you finish, hit send. That's how I got over telling my sis and her bf through text. Took me like twenty mins to hit send, but eventually I got there and you will too. Parents: Again, just keep imagining and push yourself to give the letter to them no matter what. Good luck!! Keep us posted.
I wrote a coming-out letter to my brothers, but then I told them in person. I looked at the letter as a way of getting all my thoughts straight (no pun intended) and figuring out *what* I wanted to tell them and *why*. The why is just as important as the what, I think. Usually, its a case of wanting to share because they're your family and you don't want to hide a part of yourself and a part of your life from them. The basic letter jede posted is a good one, and the sample ones Mirko mentioned are good examples of expanded letters. My advice would be check them both, see what you think, and then write your own letter, because you've got to say what you feel. That said, I think there are three essentials in any such letter: 1. Start with "Dear......" 2. End with "Love....." 3. Make it clear you're glad to be telling them, and that you're happy as you are. Good luck!
For many people, there's a fear of taking the final step. After all, right now, if you want to "back away" from it, you can. But after this step, it'd involve a lot of denials and retractions that probably wouldn't be believed anyway. So it can seem like a very FINAL sort of step, if you will. My only advice is to not overthink it. Some people can get caught up in the process, drafting and editing and planning and scheming. But it's simply something to get to the other side of. "Bro - I'm gay. Lemme know if you want to talk about it. - Sis" via Facebook is completely and utterly fine. Lex
rough draft of letter Dear Mom and Dad, I’m not going to bead around the bush so I’m just going to say it. I’m gay. I am still the same person I was before this weekend. Same everything nothing has changed you just know a little more now I guess. Here’s hoping that this can make our bond stronger than it already is. If you have any questions there is a great organization called pflag and their website is a good place to go for questions and what no and feel free to ask me questions. Love always, Rachel suggestions welcomed
I think is a good letter. I liked the part you said: nothing has changed you just know a little more now.
