Shes proberly the most gay friendly (considering shes had some gay friends in the past) and i was thinking, whilst im in south africa with her, maybe i should tell her...i know she'd respect my secret but it seems a bit surreal to tell someone IRL that im gay....if you know what i mean, like how can i be 100% certain that i am? Hoping for some sort of advice...:icon_redf
One of the great things about being 14 is the decisions you make today aren't binding on you for the rest of your life. Well, some of them are but...if you honestly believe that you're gay today- it doesn't have to commit you to being gay every day for the rest of your life. Talk to your aunty about what you're feeling. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's where you happen to be. If you feel later that you've jumped the gun- it's still better that you talk about it. Communicating today's thoughts and feelings is important because you live in today. I don't believe that being gay, straight or bisexual is always as easy to define as many people want to believe. I think it's possible to enjoy sex with both males and females but to be able to love only one sex. Heck, play with that last sentence and I bet you can come up with 5 or 6 different combinations. Maybe you don't love women in general but truly love one particular woman (or vice versa). Labeling is a limiting thing if you allow yourself to become too restricted by the label. Don't feel like coming out to your aunt prevents you from continuing to explore the question again later if it ever feels wrong for you. It will also help your aunt understand what you're going through. She'll be better able to help you if she knows the things that are on your mind. It will also start her along the path of adjusting to whatever extent she must adjust.
I dont know if coming out on a vacation is the best idea, might cause a lot of stress and strain. If I were you, I would wait until after, but if you feel ready, coming out to your aunt is a great idea. Also, make sure you know what you are going to come out to her as (you said telling her that you are gay, but you are listed as bi). Good Luck!
Vacations are meant to be a chance to relax, unwind, forget about problems and enjoy yourselves. So probably not a good time for news that may upset things.
Right, you can wait after that, since your aunty loves you alot, she gives you lots of chances to talk to her, so just relax for now , and choos the right time You dont have to come out as a gay guy if you dont knwo excactly who you are, since you are confused, but have feelings for guys, come out as bissexual, it's the middle of all things, the half way lol. But it wont make you feel wacky or anything
i wudnt come out to her on holiday but if u really want to then well ull find out if u r gay on sunday. once u know tht then it wud be up2 u and how comfy u r about telling sum1
as the people above said,wait till your vacation is over,enjoy yourself for now,and then discuss what you want with your aunty.
Do whatever you think would be least stressful. If you think she might react negatively, then don't tell her. If you think she might react positively, then go on ahead. You have no idea how much stress it relieves to talk about you feelings with another person. But ultimately, do whatever just feels right.
No offense or anything but you're just 14 and you're already running from "I won't be gay anymore" to "I want to come out" in a matter of days. Take your time... I don't think it's even that important at your age. That's your call though, just don't overanalyze it or think about it too much... that could mess you up for years. No one has to know you're gay until you're secure with your sexuality and you "deciding" to be straight doesn't make it look like you're ready to face bad reactions at all.
As Cloud Nine 5 just said. In the space of days you'e gone from "I don't want to be gay anymore" to "Should I tell my aunty?" You're only 14. Don't be in a rush to lable yourself as anything yet. Use your age to "find out" who your are and then decide. Even Sunday may not be conclusive. Lots of kids your age would find being with a guy exciting, but that doesn't mean they're gay. Sure, lots of teens have definitely made up their minds - but you haven't. Your posts show this. Take your time. Enjoy yourself in the meantime and with time you'll gain the maturity to decide what you want or who you are. Good luck, mate.
Sorry, your post isn't clear: are you in South Africa on holiday with your aunty because she lives in South Africa and this is the only time you get to see her or are you on holiday with your aunty and the fact that you are in South Africa is incidental? Sorry to be so pedantic but it really does change everything. If you are holidaying with your aunty who lives in South Africa then it might help you to talk to your aunty about the fact that you think that you might be bisexual but that you are not sure, that you feel lost and lonely and need someone to talk it through with who will help you find your true self and support you. If you are on holiday with your aunty who you can see as much as you want when you want then it would maybe be better to wait until after your holiday. I know nothing about this, being straight, but I imagine that the first time you tell a 'real' person must be pretty surreal, saying the words out loud to someone sitting opposite you is enough to freak anyone out. If you are sure about your aunty keeping your secret, this would be your first baby step to coming out... to your aunty and yourself. As I said having someone to talk to about your sexuality might help you find your way. I think what Tim said is very true. Good luck in whatever you decide to do
If you more relax in telling ur Auntie then you can have fun on. Ur vacation that what I would do. But then again you have to be sure. You can tell her that ur bi and later tell her that ur gay. Later on Yes you are 14 but age doesnot matter. There was a girl that wanted to be a boy in grade school in Maine.
