1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Would it all have been so much easier if i were TOTALLY CAMP?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Neo1979, Nov 17, 2010.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Neo1979

    Neo1979
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2009
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    england
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I was just wondering today if I was totally camp and everyone had assumed i was gay at like 18 would it all have been so much easier?. Instead I have repressed my life and not had a relationship and tortured myself for all this time until I could not go on any more at the age of 31. Maybe if i had been camp and constantly assumed to be/ asked if i was gay by others I would have had to confront it a lot earlier?. Yeah it would have still been really tough and wouldn't have been a walk in the park by any means, but by now at the age of 31 I would maybe be comfortable in my own skin by now and used to being gay instead of being 31 and still very inexpereinced with guys and relationships and still in the coming out process to some friends.

    Is there anyone there gay who came out 18-22 yrs who is now in 30s and very comfortable with themselves and glad they did it early in thir lives? I'd like to know.

    thanks, Dean.
     
    #1 Neo1979, Nov 17, 2010
  2. Lexington

    Lexington
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    >>>Is there anyone there gay who came out 18-22 yrs who is now in 30s and very comfortable with themselves and glad they did it early in thir lives? I'd like to know.

    Me. I came out when I was 21-22. I'm now 40, extremely comfortable with myself, and glad I did it when I did. I actually wish I'd done it a bit earlier, since I missed getting to "explore" my sexuality in college, but I can't say as I regret how things turned out in any way. I can't say as I was very "camp" or effeminate. Not all that masculine either - didn't do much in the way of sports - but I was six feet tall, deep voiced, hairy, listened to rock music, all that.

    Would your life have been easier if you were more effeminate? No. Different, certainly. And you probably would've come out earlier, because most effeminate guys figure they don't have much to lose in coming out earlier. But they often tend to bear the brunt of most of the homophobia, and in fact often get a fair chunk sent their way by other gays (for "camping it up" and for "causing straight people to hate us"). So my guess is that it wouldn't have been any easier for you.

    But that's then. You're now 31 and out. So get started on living. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
    #2 Lexington, Nov 17, 2010
  3. Dare2bProud

    Dare2bProud
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ohio
    >>> Is there anyone there gay who came out 18-22 yrs who is now in 30s and very comfortable with themselves and glad they did it early in thir lives? I'd like to know.

    I came out when I was 22, came to the realization that I was attracted to men. I've never had a long term relationship. I dated, but I'm still a virgin at 27. Why? I'm very goal oriented, knowing who I was and figuring that out has helped me in my goals and being more comfortable with myself and others. I do regret not exploring more in college, but you know that they do say that 30 is the new 20! :slight_smile: Plus it's more important to build up my career and do what I need to do before inviting someone else into the picture!

    As Dolly Parton says, "Better get to livin'"
     
    #3 Dare2bProud, Nov 17, 2010
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)