I'll try to cut to the chase. I'm a 16 years old guy living with his parents. Both mum and dad are extremely homophobic. I'm bisexual,and I don't act/clothe/talk/do anything like straight guys do. IM NOT OUT TO MY PARENTS Anyway,my dad has made so many homophobic statements lately, that a piece of me dies each time he does that. I'm watching Glee,he comes in and shouts "turn off that fagshow" I'm wearing my red skinny jeans, he comes and asks me why can't I dress like a normal straigh guy? I'm crying and he tells me not to be a pansy. He says I clothe like a queer. He has this urge to yell at anything gay. Be it people,clothes,shows or anything. I'm getting sick n tired of it. I'm never gonna be able to come out to him. Just needed to get this off my chest. Any help is welcome.
ignore him, move out when you can and break the news from the high ground and let him blow his top, then he'll do one of two things, he'll either accept you for who you are or not accept you and be an annoying prick about it, either way, get clear before you do so
You can't force your parents to change. You need to show to them slowly overtime that there is nothing wrong with you. I would give you more explanation..but it really depends on what your parents are like. Just don't take it personally, I know that is extremely hard to do but it is needed. Just remain strong and they will change.
I can understand why you're not out to them, Jesus. While, I can offer any advice on how to get your Dad to change his mind. I can give you a ray of hope. You're 16 in two years you're outta there, and a strange sort of thing happens when kids leave home. Parents want attention from YOU. My father was kind of a dick too, but when I moved out and he realized I didn't have to have anything to do with if I didn't want to, he changed his tune quite a bit. You there now and your Dad know, at least for now, you're not going anywhere. So, he can say what he wants, do what he wants you can't do jack crap about it. If you can last these last two year you can be free as a bird, do what you want, when you want, how you want. You can choose to let your Dad know that you won't set foot in his house until he learns how to be an adult. It may not work right away, but after not seeing you for a few while the message will sink in.
I've got a pretty homophobic family too. (I'm also not out to them, except my brother... who is also homophobic). One of the ways I stopped my dad from saying things was I simply came out as "gay friendly" as opposed to gay. He made a couple of comments and I told him, "you know, I have a couple of gay friends, and I really don't think you know what you are talking about with all that". It kind of shut him up a bit. I also mentioned one time when he was bitching about prop 8 a few years ago in California that "I have never known you to be a bigot dad... I mean i'm a pretty conservative person too but I always try to stand up for people when they are getting crapped on by over reaching government". He didn't agree with me, but he keeps his mouth shut about that stuff around me now. Granted I am a little older, but standing up for yourself is always ok. You don't have to come out to be a vocal supporter of your own kind. Good luck!
the way to shut parents up in those situations is take the piss, he has a go at the way you dress you say "you just wish you looked as fabulous as me", just quick witty one liners that he can't really respond to. its how iv dealt with it when people try to put me down, i just respond with somthing humours that rips them a little. this stratergy dosn't work on everybody, and they always need to have a slight element of humour or thier more likly to be offened. but if you can pull it off people stop trying to put you down.
