Mothers Relationship Isnt Working Basically, I don’t think that my step-dad is right for my mother. They’ve been together for around 6 years and, although I approved and supported the wedding at the beginning, I now believe that he is not good enough for my mother at all. Issues I have with my step-dad: + He doesn’t do ANY work around the house. My mother works as much in her job just as much as he does. + He gets stressed very easily about stupid things like having to ring up a doctor, his car not starting and just at random points in conversation. He sees spitefulness or bitchiness where it doesn’t exist. + He doesn’t pay enough attention to my mother. He plays on a game console for hours upon hours instead. + He doesn’t respect my mothers old fashioned view that everyone should sit at the table until everyone has finished eating. + He consistently breaks diets and discourages my mother from going to the gym. + He never says sorry when he has done something wrong and basically acts like a kid when he gets in to petty arguments. + He doesn’t treat my mum enough – barely at all as far as I can see. + He has very recently been more stressed out because of a recent medical condition to do with his heart. BUT My mother seems to still like him and he hangs out with her, watching TV and going out to dinners and hotels for the weekend. She would miss out on things if she didn’t have a partner and I cant pay enough attention to her and I definitely cant do that for the rest of her life. Shes around 52 years old. She still loves him. So, my questions are: Should I actively try to bring my new concerns to the attention of my mother for the sake of her own long term happiness? Would me bringing my concerns to her attention make things any better? If my mother broke up with my step-dad today, how good are her chances of finding someone else? Is my mother better off without him regardless? Should I try and break them up behind my mothers own back? What should I do (if anything) and what is the best possible outcome? Do you have any experience of such a situation?
I agree with you that he certainly does not sound like the kind of guy I would like to marry. However, while this may not be the answer you are looking for, it is none of your business who she marries. Although you may not think he is right for her, she is a grown woman and can make that decision on her own. I suggest you say nothing.
You pretty much described my mum and her partner. Its not an ideal situation, but unless he is actually harming her, I can't see its much to do with you. Your entitled to an opinion, just as she would be entitled to an opinion on who you date, but if you express it don't expect her to just suddenly drop him.
