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I realy want to tell these people

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dictionary, Oct 6, 2007.

  1. dictionary

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    I have these to realy good female friends and i want to tell them that i am gay but i dont know if i should or not i can trust them and all and im pretty sure that they know i am as i have been trying to drop hints to them but neither of them has asked me. I know that neither one of them would care cause they have friends that are Lezbian and bixetual but i just dont know what to do... hmmmm
     
  2. ALieToDieFor

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    whats with the lezbian and bixetual?
    ....
    Tell them when you want..
    Blurt it out or whisper.
    dont be ashamed or afraid.
    Nothing can hurt you but yourself.
    Words mean nothing and spoken by someone you love.
     
  3. dictionary

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    Oh lol im a terrible speller....
     
  4. Paul_UK

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    Even though your username is "dictionary"! :grin:

    Sorry, back on-topic....
     
  5. Samus610

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    Well I think you should tell them. Because it might bring you closer as friends. That's what happened to me when I told my now best friend that I was bisexual. But you should also feel comfortable telling them that you are gay. Basically over all I think you should tell them.
     
  6. beckyg

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    It sounds like they would be fine with it so I'd tell them. Good luck!
     
  7. Bryan

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    If you are ready go ahead and tell them, but if you want only them to know, just make sure that they are trustworthy and wont go and start telling everyone.
     
  8. Louise

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    Do you have a particular best friend in this group of girls? Maybe start with one friend you your feel really sure about. I don't know these girls but I do know that girls can be particularly spiteful and catty so I wouldn't go rushing into things without being really sure.

    It will do you a lot of good to share this important part of your life with a privileged friend and take some of the burden off you if you know someone is on your side.

    If you feel good about one of the girls go for it, tell her. If you have been dropping hints they probably know without knowing if you see what I mean. They might be too embarassed to ask you out straight.

    I know it takes a lot of courage to come out but I think the benifits of coming out are worth it if you can some support and feel less alone in the world :thumbsup:
     
  9. Revealed

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    Thankyou Louise, you've pretty much summed up everything I wanted to say...only better!!:lol:

    I think if you've been dropping hints to them, they would probably already know but are too afraid to say anything. Some of my friends guessed it even before I knew myself!! But they didn't talk about it and just let me come out at my own pace. If you trust them, and you are close, I would say go for it. If anything, they'd probably feel priviledged to be the first ones to know. But if you're having doubts, it would be best to leave it until you are certain that you trust them.

    Personally, I feel better having some of my friends know. Although some of them have mentioned it to a few other people, I'm cool with it because I know if anyone tries to give me the whole 'you're living a sinfull life' type drama, they are all very supportive.

    So come out at you're own pace when you feel ready. But it's an amazing feeling being able to just be yourself in front of those closest to you and not have to hide.

    Let us know how things go!! :eusa_danc
     
  10. dictionary

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    I just told one of them then i started of saying i have a secret i want to tell you and said i think you may have alredy geused and she hadent and then i said would it help if i told you about the last two movies i have seen whitch were Bratz and Hairspray then she said yeah i think but i dont want to ofnd you then i said dose it start with G and is it 3 letters and then she said yep and yeah now e are having a D+M (Deep and Meaningfull) convo and talking about whether or no i should tell anouther friend

    ......sorry about the spelling
     
  11. Louise

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    Good for you, comming out is never easy, I am glad for you that your friend is so understanding, it will help you with the next friend on your list.

    It is difficult at any age to talk about your sexuality, it is so personal, private and intimate, few people manage to talk about it openly. You are doing really well. I think what your friend said about not offending you is quite important. This will probably be the general feeling amongst your friends. At your age if someone were not gay they probably would be offended or hurt that someone think they were so this is understandable even though, in itself, being homosexual is not offensive.

    You might be able to help them along a bit by saying something like, 'you might have already guessed, don't worry I won't be offended, you are probably right, try me'. This will help them to come out and say the G word and then you can confirm. Sounds easy hey? :lol:

    Just one last thing... I'm really proud of you, you are very mature for your age :kiss:
     
  12. dictionary

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    It kinda got a bit aquward for me after i told her but then we were talking about guys we thought were hot so it was like funny
     
  13. Louise

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    It was probably a bit akward for her as well but hey, that's normal, this is new to you both just give it time. These are the sort of things you have a good laugh about 6 months down the line.

    Hang on in there, you're doing good :thumbsup:
     
  14. Ilayis

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    if they have lesbian and bisexual friends it will be cool with them,if they are able to keep a secret it you want them to,thats for you to find out
     
  15. dictionary

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    Still tosing up weather or not to tell another friend i didnt know if it would have been bad timing cause her perants are getting a divorce and i feel realy aqward around the friends i told is it ment to be a bit aquward or is it just me?
     
  16. Revealed

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    Well, I felt awkward for a little while after telling my friends. I didn't quite know what to say, or whether I could start being more myself (ie- commenting on other girls in front of them, etc), but that passed pretty quickly. It will be different with each person you tell. You'll be able to pick up if someone is completely fine with it or if they're not comfortable with that information. It's all really a matter of telling them, and giving them time to process it at their own pace. But I think a little awkwardness at the start is be pretty a common story.

    As for telling that other friend, I might suggest to leave it, just for a little while during the seperation of her parents. She will have a lot on her mind, so just let her handle what is happeneing in her family at the moment, and maybe talk to her later when things have settled down a bit.
     
  17. mostashio

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    I was having the exact problem you had with telling your friends a while back. I've told basically all the people that i wanted to for the moment. I told my best friend one night when i was staying at her place. I thought she was gonna freak but she didn't. I was so scared i didn't even have a voice, i had to use my phone and write it down on that (how sad is that). It was a big relief when i finally told her, although it was hard. The hardest thing ever was telling my Mum.

    I did feel awkward for a while, till my friend told me to loosen up a bit, then i was right, but yea...

    I hope all goes well with telling your other friend.... good luck mate!!