Okay, so I know this guy..let's call him Evan.. Basically, I think he is gay, and he is bad at hiding it from what I can tell. He is part of the Student Youth Council (State approved group of religious bigots), which is the main reason why I believe he isn't out yet. Here are all the little things that I have noticed: 1. He is the only guy in a choir full of girls. Duh. 2. Has never had a girlfriend. 3. When the blooddrive was here last Monday, my friend asked him why he couldn't give blood. Instead of giving a good bullshit answer, he said, "My father has hemophilia so I may be a carrier. So they couldn't take my blood." -- The reason why that is complete bullshit is because if you're a carrier of hemophilia, you can still give blood because you don't have hemophilia. You kid will if your spouse is a carrier as well. But he made it clear that he doesn't have it, but just a carrier. Plus, I've seen him get cut before. 4. He is very..feminine compared to other guys, and to me. 5. All his friends are girls..except me. 6. MESSENGER BAG (every gay guy in my school has one, and a few straight guys) 7. He always stares at this hot as hell substitute teacher. Mmm. He's a god. Mmmhmmm So, I know that there is no definitive way to say he's gay, and I know he can still be straight or gay no matter what. I just want to know if this guy would set off your gaydar.
He's gay or maybe just totally effeminate. I would corner him and just ask but definitely comes off as gay. Now the orgasmic question. [insert drum roll here] What the bloody blooming [insert colorful word here] are you waiting for, find out already damnit!! :dry:
Well, the only reason I am asking your opinions is because I want to help him realize it's okay to be gay and come out. I don't want to date him. :3
Ohhh why didn't you just say so. :eusa_doh: :icon_redf I think things like coming out are best left to the person themselves, when they are ready they will come out, I mean just because you are openly gay doesn't mean I will be comfortable with coming out too, various factors might be in play like what would my family think and so on, sure we all need support but I dunno. That's my opinion.
I'm not going to force him. I'm just going to make him feel like it's okay in a subtle way. If I just said, "IT'S OKAY TO BE GAY YA' KNOW!" That would be very..insulting?
If you're out to him and you're friends with him then that is enough. Telling him that it's ok to be gay is pushing it a little, but that's up to you.
Are you good friends with this guy? Does he know you're gay? If you're not friends with him and don't see yourself being friends with him in the near future maybe you could directly ask him if he's gay and that if he ever needed someone to talk to about it you were there. He might be really offended and hate you for suggesting it but if he is gay he could weeks or months or maybe even years take you up on talking to you. If you're his friend just be supportive, maybe talk about your own experiences, how hard it was and how good it was to have someone to talk to before coming out to everyone. Good luck. I also have a friend who I think is gay and about to make a really big mistake if he is so I'm trying to figure out what I can do to help him without actually suggesting he might be.
Being subtle is definitely the right approach. Asking him outright is a definite no-no because it will force him to either lie or come out when he isn't ready. Just make it known you're fine with gay people, maybe comment on something current like the recent teen suicides, Prop 8 or Don't Ask Don't Tell. See what his opinion is on it.
Off topic: Yeah, when I'm 16 I'm gonna give blood even though I'm not really allowed to, I'm still a virgin and my blood is just as good as any others. Also, I have a messenger bag! Come on now, let's not stereotype. On topic: There are plenty of those guys at my school, and I just have to say "If they say they're straight, then fine, I guess they're straight" You can only push a person so far, so I would try not to get into that subject with him
Well, given you're gay, that should be enough. But if not, you can talk about "a cousin who came out recently" and how "everyone's pretty much been supportive". I think a friend did that to me. xD
From what you describe, it sounds like he might well be gay. Of course, you are highlighting particular things here, we can't know because we haven't met him. But as others have said, if you're openly gay, we can presume he knows you think it's ok to be gay. What more do you want to say? You're breaking no rules by giving blood if you're a virgin. They ask you if you've ever had anal or oral sex with another man, not if you've ever found other men attractive.
Oh, sweetie...I can tell you from experience, that's gonna be more trouble than it's worth. Better to let him figure things out for himself. And pick up one of Melody Beattie's books the next time you're at Barnes & Noble. :icon_wink
