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Free doctors?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by WhiteFox, Nov 30, 2010.

  1. WhiteFox

    WhiteFox Guest

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    I am 20 and am currently dating someone who is 17. He has only dated 3 guys but has had sex with 2 of them and I am somewhat of a paranoid freak when it comes to diseases and such. Is there anywhere I could take him to get him tested for STD's etc? The only problem I see is him being underage and if a parent is required. Something that doesn't have his parents involved is preferred as he is not out yet.

    Fox
     
  2. malachite

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    There are free clinics in most major cities, if not go to a blood bank and donate they do a full battery of tests and are required by the laws ti inform you if you have any STDs.
    I'm google your city and free clinics though
     
  3. Blondie

    Blondie Guest

    not trying to be rude here but your 20 and hes 17? what you should be doing instead of testing is breaking up by law your a adult he is a minor if you stay together please remember condoms and lube
     
  4. midwestblues

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    I got tested for HIV for free when I was 17 and I didn't need a parent. Check your local health units.
     
  5. Chip

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    Every state, as far as I know, has free HIV testing, and many have anonymous testing (no name, no contact info, etc) so he could say he's 18 and no one would be the wiser. But I believe that most of the free testing facilities will test younger people; in California I think the minimum age is 14 or 16 or something.

    You haven't mentioned if you play safe, but you should, even if he tests negative. There's no guarantee he won't have a little fling on the side (even if you trust him 100%) and it's not a risk I'd want to take. Also, keep in mind the latency period for HIV for the standard screening test is about 30-60 days (accuracy increases as you wait longer) so testing him today only tells you accurately what his status was 60 days ago and any sex since then could run the risk that he's infected and won't test positive for it.

    Lastly, there are a number of less serious but still no fun STIs besides HIV. In some public clinics they test for these also, but many do not. I know in northern California, siphyllis is a big problem, much bigger right now than HIV.
     
  6. Darkwing65

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    It's a 3 year difference and he's almost 18. Plus, alot of states consider 17 to be the legal age of consent. Relax.
     
  7. MusicIsLife

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    I don't see stds and hiv as much of an issue as much as there seems to be a trust issue here. Have you guys even discussed stds and hiv? Because personally, if he was being safe I don't think you need to be panicking, and he should be the one who wants to go to a clinic if he wasn't, not you.
     
  8. WhiteFox

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    Yes Thank you Dark wing. He is going to the clinic, I mentioned it and he was more than happy to agree. I am getting tested myself (although there is no purpose) but just to make him feel better about it. I really appreciate the comment stating that tests don't show things as recent as 30-60 days. that was very helpful and I never knew about that. In all honesty I hate condoms and have never worn one. I do not "sleep around" at all and can count the number of people Ive had sex with on one hand and still have fingers left over.I go for very "clean" and honest guys and still have great relationships with all my X's. However when I have doubts (such as this time) then ill make sure its ok (like this test) before I do anything. Thank you for your help guys.

    Fox
     
  9. Chip

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    ...and, no offense, but it is that sort of attitude and stereotype that causes people like you to get infected with HIV.

    There is absolutely no way to determine whether someone is HIV- by their appearance, attitude, or even sexual promiscuity. And HIV+ people are notorious for lying about their status, simply because HIV+ people are generally people who "hate condoms and never use them." So when they become poz, they don't suddenly develop interest in condoms, or consideration for their partners.

    I don't mean to be harsh, but my attitude is informed by having talked to several dozen HIV+ people who are under 25 (a half dozen of which are under 21, and several of which were under 18 when they became HIV+). A number of them believed they were being "cautious" and were using the exact same arguments ("I only go out with honest guys", "I avoid promiscuous guys") that you're using.

    Each person has to make their own decisions. But partners lie and cheat, particularly partners who are 17 years old and are sexually active. And people who regularly have bareback sex often end up HIV+. They convince themselves it will never happen to them, and only after they are HIV+ do they wish they'd done something different. So please give some thought. Condoms, if properly sized and used, are pretty much imperceptible. And... how can you possibly know that you hate condoms if you've never used them?
     
  10. Pragmatic

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    Thank you Chip. You stole the words right outta' my mouth.
     
  11. Lotty

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    It's not illegal. And it's definately not peadophilia, if that's what you mean. Cause peadophilia is when you are 20 or older and you're dating someone who's at least 5 years younger.
     
  12. WhiteFox

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    I didn't mean looks chip, I meant knowing simply because of communication and just being together with them... but yea I see your point, Its OK to be harsh, I think I have the type of personality where sometimes harsh is the only thing that gets through. Ill take your advice Chip, Thanks.

    Fox