I met this guy on this online dating site, he is everything I could have possibly have wanted from a guy (I know that sounds naive since I have yet to meet him) and we instantly clicked. I really like him and he only lives a few hours away from my town in a city that I normally go to for mini-vacations. So anyway we text and talk almost daily sometimes, I was even planning to go study in the city he lives in but that plan was cancelled by my harlot of a mother. I told him about this and he acted in a peculiar manner, I assumed it must be disappointment but since he only lives a few hours away I didn't really think it would change much between us, of course the first thing I ever asked him was whether he was single and as luck would have it he said he was. So here is the thing, me and my buddies have planned for months now (even before I met him online) to spend New Years at his city because they throw the most fabulous of parties (they are hiring DJs from Europe for fucks sake, it's that awesome) there and we have all been saving up for the big trip, so last night I asked him if he will be there for the event or if not whether I could at least meet him if he will have the time. The bloody fucking bastard tells me that he is going to be spending his New Year at Tiwi beach, as I'm sure most of you don't know where the fuck that is I will describe it for you, if you have heard of the paradise islands of Zanzibar then Tiwi beach is pretty much like that, a great getaway for people because it is a sparsely populated place known for it's beauty and romance. That however is not the reason for my crude language. Of course if someone has already made plans for their holiday who am I to force them to change them right? So I ask the bastard whether he is going alone or not and he casually says no, there is a buddy of his from Finland who is coming down to go there with him and that my friends is were it gets amusingly sad. So he is single but is planning to spend time with his 'guy' buddy in paradise. What the bloody fuck??? I think it is important to point out that Finland is fucking MILES away and you have to FLY to get here from that damned country while I simply have to take a short bus ride, what am I supposed to make of it? I didn't even have the energy to reply after he told me about his cute little 'plans' and to add a little salt and iodine to the wound he has the damned balls to ask me after I didn't reply for a few minutes and I quote "I offend you now?", what the hell??? What the fuck does he think????? Do tell me dear reader if you would not have been massively hurt and pissed off like I was. Was I supposed to be jumping up and down with joy while threading freaking bloody daisies in my afro?? What should I do? I am sincerely considering cutting off all contact with him because I have never felt so stupid in my life but I have also never met someone who so perfectly fits the image of my ideal guy well minus that little stunt he just pulled on me, somebody please give me some advice cause I am tearing my hair out. Thanks in advance.
If you expect to foster a serious romantic relationship over the Internet, be prepared for some harsh disappointment. They almost never work out. I did know a guy online for about a year, and when I traveled to NYC I met up with him and he stayed in my hotel for a couple nights. But I didn't travel there solely to meet him, and it was mutually understood that it was more of a fling and not an LTR-type deal. Before that, I was in a legit online relationship with a guy in DC; it was going incredibly well, and my heart was really into it. I was ready to fly out there to meet him when the whole thing unravelled in the most sudden and disastrous way possible. Not doing that again, and I wouldn't recommend it for anyone else, either. I'd say cut this guy off before he upsets you anymore. It's clear you're not one of his top priorities.
Honestly, you need to get over your fucking self. First off, you're not "dating". Not even internet-dating. You're chatting a lot with a guy online, and you've got a lot in common, and you're hitting it off. But you're not dating him. And unless he said "I'm saving myself for you" - and I think you would've said that if he were - he's free to date or not date, screw or not screw, anybody that comes along. If you want to build castles in the air, that's your own business, but you can hardly get upset when other people drive right through them. Secondly, you know precisely zilch-nada about Mr Finland, or his relationship with your internet-friend. Maybe they're lovers. Maybe they used to be but aren't any more. Maybe they're platonic friends. No way of knowing. Yeah, he's flying in from Finland - so what? I went on a mini-vacation with a guy from Italy not that long ago. A STRAIGHT guy from Italy. And nothing happened, nor was anything expected to. We're just friends, and that's as far as it went. Your internet friend is playing this correctly. He could've lied like an ape here. He could've said he was going to the beach alone, or with his great-aunt Mabel. Instead he told you the (assumed) truth, and you took it like a ten-year-old. You should've simply said "That's a shame - I was looking forward to perhaps finally meeting you during the holiday." Maybe he would've invited you along (not sure if that would've been feasible). But either way, you would've still been on good terms. CTFD. He doesn't owe you. If this guy is flying in, it presumably was set up months before - possibly even before he even (metaphorically) MET you. And even if not, it's not like he broke an already-set date with you to meet with him. He's meeting a guy - maybe for fun, maybe for romance. Either way, it's his call, and it's not your call to get overly jealous and pissy about it. Take some time to get used to this fact before contacting him again. Lex
I wasn't entirely hoping to foster a romantic relationship over the net but I guess you guys are right, I am reading too much into it and it is just childish, gawd knows what I was expecting from a complete stranger. Thanks for the advice everyone, I will deal with this in a more mature manner from now on. .x Extra thanks to Lex for the much needed wake up call, gawd knows what we would do without ya'. . .<3
LOL Lex. And you're 20, don't expect you to be as mature as a 40 year old bud. It's called being young.
