Hey guys, So I just wanted to gauge people's opinion on my situation. I met a guy last week at a dinner with a friend and some of his mates. We hit it off great, swapped numbers, chatted a fair bit, etc. I assumed he was the same age as me, mainly because we were in a bar, and you wouldn't expect anyone underage to be there. I'm 20, and it was only until we added each other on facebook that I realised he was 17. Now I know it's only 3 years, but given the fact that he isn't 18 yet and is still to complete high school, I'm a little hesitant to take it any further. I don't think 3 years is a big gap, but I think at this age it might be somewhat of an issue. I guess I'm just wondering what everyone's opinion is. Cheers, Matt
They way I see it is you totally hit it off with a guy and than freaked out when you saw his age. What changed? He's still the same person. Is he of legal age? I don't know how it is in Australia. If you feel a connection with this guy and feel it can be serious, I don't think a small age difference should ruin it.
3 years at that age is not a huge difference *provided* that it's legal in your jurisdiction. There will be some maturity differences evident, but certainly there can be immature 20 year olds and mature 17 year olds so if you're both somewhere in the middle it's likely not a big deal. Take it slow and get to know one another. Communication is key. Listen to each other, and understand where the differences in world view and where you each are in life, and you should be fine
In Australia, unless you're in Queensland, the age of consent is 16, so if you have sex it's perfectly legal. In Queensland, the age of consent for male-male anal sex is 18. So backwards. My first boyfriend, there was a two and a half year gap between us. The biggest problem I found with that was our clashing schedules, as when I finished school early, he had woodwind class both days. It can work, but ultimately it didn't work for me, but I'd say the age gap was only minor factor in our break-up. That difference between stages of life goes down fine for some people though. Good luck either way.
You guys hit it off. I don't see the problem here. If he's of the age of consent, I say go for it (meaning continue to date him, not hit & run lol)
Just be careful with his heart - kids are tender at that age. :icon_wink Other than that, I don't see a problem with it. I totally would have dated a 17 year-old at 20.
Well, my honest opinion is that there's no problem in that I've liked a 22 year old guy, and none of us really felt strange about that
I'm only going to chime in with the masses here. My boyfriend is three years younger--it's the exact same thing, actually, I'm 20, and he's 17. I met him when he was 16. It was a bit off-putting at first, but if it works, it works. He's been out for far longer than I have (I came out when I was 19, he came out when he was 13), so he actually had a lot more experience than I did. The age difference wasn't a big deal normally (it helps that I like younger guys, and he likes older), the only issue has been that he wasn't ready for a level of commitment that I wanted. But even that wasn't that big a deal, it just made me go more slowly, and it all worked out: he just told me he loved me. The one weird thing is dealing with the HS schedule. I get used to having insane amounts of flexibility during the week. He's restrained by his parent's sometimes (this is an important factor. My bf is underage, but it doesn't really matter, since his parents LOVE me. It's almost the key thing with this age difference). We can only really spend time together during the weekeneds, which sucks, but it's necessary. Of course, he's able to spend the night over every weekend (which most parents probably wouldn't be so down with). There's a lot of factors, but honestly, that's not THAT bad. Any younger, and it'd be a bit too much, but 20 and 17 are within the range of not-creepy.
The main issue won't be the age on the driver's license but how mature/experienced he is when it comes to dating and interpersonal relationships. He is presumably even newer to this than most, so you might want to take things slow. And do your best to communicate at every opportunity - don't assume he knows what's going on, or what you're thinking, or "where we're at". Lex
I'm dating someone who just turned 20, i'm gonna be 17 in july. 3 1/2 year gap. And we're 4 years apart in school (Somehow he got skipped a year) It works pretty much because we're both at the same level, even though we're in different parts of education and i can't drive Depends on maturity of both people involved
I remember being in your shoes a few years ago. I decided to date someone my age or someone older, since I believe maturity comes at a later age than 17 or so. (Don't hate...) I'm just saying, for my personal preference. Right now though, I'm dating a 27 year old, and I'm almost 22. Personally, I wouldn't date someone who's in highschool if I wasn't, or if I was leaving highschool, but... that's just me.
My advice is simply to be careful, i mean I'm 20 too and 17 isn't a massive stretch of the imagination considering i've hooked up with guys more than 3 years older than me in the past. As long as you take into account his age and remember where laws stand for different things you should be fine!
