NEWS FLASH! So my ex-boyfriend completely lied to my face and made up the story that his parents banned him from liking guys; turns out he couldn't just dump me, so he made that extravagant lie to break up with me. I'm so incredibly pissed off - because I had hope for us, still completely loving him and wanting to be with him, to find out he lied about everything, I don't even know how he felt while we were going out. He said I was too clingy (maybe a little) and that he just didn't love me and want to go out with me again. He said it'll suck when we wants to date someone else because then I'll find out: TOO LATE! I'm fuming, I feel completely played and duped. How immature and stupid can he be, how can he sleep at night knowing he does shit like this to people?! Wow, I'm just blown away at this. I am officially over this asshole liar and can move on and live a happier life, because I know how much better and more mature I am than him - if anything he didn't deserve me, because I was true - PISS ON HIM!
Ouch. But, if you believe that is true, I'd make this suggestion... Just move on. That way you retain your dignity and show that his attitude is his problem, not yours. Revenge is NOT sweet - believe me - it would probably come back and bite you. Get over it, get on with life, have fun, enjoy - and show him what he missed - that's the best way.:biggrin:
TriBi is 100% right there. This guy doesn't deserve another moment's thought. Now, do you have the phone number of that guy you met at that party....... :king:
Wow, some people are complete morons. Here i felt bad for the guy. Well, at least you are away from that a**hole now.
You deserve so much better. As TriBi said, this guy isn't worth your thoughts anymore. Atleast now you can just forget about him and move on.
I can only feel for you... being decieved like that must be horrible... You are still in my thoughts...
Yes - the one I completely fell in love with and thought the same of him to me...the situation still pisses me off on how immature and pathetic he is. Lately his messenger name has been something to the effect of "everyone hates me, I guess I deserve it" and I'm like DUH! But I felt kinda bad so I apologized and said I didn't purposefully make everyone hate him, I just told them the truth since he didn't because they had a right to know what really happened and that's just how everyone reacted - that's the way it is - and he got pissed so I said it's the way it is because you made it that way and asked if he wanted to meet and talk about stuff, clear some things up, but he hasn't returned my calls or messages so he's just an immature baby that won't grow up!
The best thing you can do now is completely ignore him. The more contact you and him have the more difficult it will be for you to get over him, because the way he treated you will keep being mentioned making it more difficult for you to let go. I dunno whether he's enjoying dragging you through the shit or whether he is hurting too. But his feelings are of no consequence to you now. What's important is what's best for you, and that is getting him completely out of your life ASAP. Remove him from your MSN contacts and add him to your MSN block list. If you can block his emails (add his address to your spam filters or whatever), do that too. If he calls your mobile, reject the call. You need to let go completely so you can move on, so you need to get rid of these lines of communication.
I wish I could do that, but campus is not that big and I see him everyday in choir so I have to patch things up with him because he too wants to talk with me - supposedly though he has been so busy with this and that that he couldn't respond or find time to I guess. Whatever. So later today we're going to talk and hopefully things won't be as tense...wish me luck!
Patching things up will generally make things easier for you, especially since you're going to have to have contact with him. So goodluck. I hope you can manage to sort out everything.
Well I did it - it was pretty easy - I was a bitch of course but I laid out what I thought and said it how it was - the only thing is he is so easy going and non-chalant about everything, almost as if it's not a big deal in what he did - another reason why he's an asshole and not worth it - he said he just falls out of love really fast and didn't know how else to break it with me - but still can't explain why - I made him understand how he is a pathological liar and how much pain he put me through and why everyone basically thinks he's an asshole - including my mom! hahaha so now I can at least stand to be around him - and I told him that - so yeah, I told him to learn from his damn mistakes and learn from my reaction and emotions - and that he can keep my love letter to remember how someone loved him so much one time and he let it go...
Well now that your done venting (if not then i detect another lash out at me coming for what i'm about to say lol)...btw i feel really out of place being the only one in the thread who has this point of view...i know he lied to you and it sucks...but doesn't it say something...that he really felt bad about dumping you...wouldn't you have done the same thing....he was just trying to let you down easy...(although he went about it the wrong way but everyone is a newbie when it comes to love)...he didn't wanna hurt you so he tried to put the blame on his parents so it'd make it seem like it wasn't either yours or his fault but his parents...and i don't mean to take sides...i'm just exploring the situation from his point of view...sorry if you take any offense to what i've said
I think it's really admirable that you're trying to understand this other guy's point of view, and you have a good point that he probably wasn't intentionally trying to hurt Jordano's feelings by lying. But it's still a really, really, really immature way to handle a break-up. I can see why he chose to do it, but that doesn't mean I like it or think it was the best way to go about it. Jordano, I have a lot of respect for you for being willing to talk to this guy at all. I think it's a sign of maturity; extended grudges are pretty immature. And yet I'm like the king of tired grudges. Thus my respect for you.
No no no... I'M the king of extended grudges. Which I don't think, exactly, are immature as much as they are harmful to the person holding them.
Yeah, well I figured if I to see him everyday, in choir, that I should probably at least make sure it's not completel awkward between us. He says to me every once and awhile how he's glad that we're cool and still friends, and I always remind him that I'll never understand why he did it and he'll never be able to give me an answer but that whatever, I can be civil and mature when I'm around him and that's all that matters. Here's the sucky thing though, it's been almost a month sinc we broke up and 3 weeks since I found out the truth, and I'm still in love with him, like I think I would take him back if he wanted me back even though he was a complete asshole to me. There's something about him, his physical attributes mainly I suppose, that still turn me on and get me weak at the knees. When I think of what he did though and the type of person he is I'm disgusted, and want to punch is face, but then he smiles at me and I melt - IT SUCKS! hahaha because I don't wanna like him at all anymore, I want to move on but kinda can't at the moment...hmm.... Oh - and there's no way I can understand why he broke up the way he did because the way he did it led me on completely that he still loved me and wanted to be with me but couldn't because of his parents and in turn kept me hanging on him, continuing to love him. So how can I understand something like that? It's completely deceptive, and he was, and still is, completely okay with it. I told him he was a pathological liar, and he responded "maybe I am..." How f*cked up is this immature liar?! So immature...and acts like it was no big deal around everyone. The best thing he told me was that I was better than him and deserved someone better, no matter if I still have feelings for him or not, because he admitted he can't commit no matter how much in love he gets, and I believe it, I think he forces himself to stop loving because he can't commit, and it's completely sad, his longest relationship was 2 months and at the rate he's going he'll be single the rest of his life, and he agreed. SAD! Whew - rant of the night - haven't done that in a long time - sorry guys! Thanks for all the input and opinions - I heart you all! :icon_mrgr
How you feel is understandable. He was the one who broke up with you when you still had feelings for him. Obviously it's going to take you a while for these feelings to move on. The fact that it's been a month is a bit concerning though. But, it's what love does to us. You said you would take him back if he wanted you, well it's this sort of thinking that will cause problems such as finding yourself not able to let go. Holding onto false hope is comforting, but it stops us from seeing the truth in a situation. I can't guarantee that he'll never take you back, however from the way he broke up with you, I'd take that as a pretty clear sign it's over for good. Seeing him regulary and having him as an active part of your life isn't going to make the process of moving on any easier. You'll constantly be reminded of why you first fell in love. You can't be expected to change your lifestyle around him though, so unfortunantly there's no simple way around that. Confronting him has produced no results for you. It's obvious that the situation meant virtually nothing to him, and he refuses to accept the heartache he caused you. However, remaining angry at him for what he did will just encourage you to think about him (even angry thoughts can provoke thoughts of love). Frankly, he doesn't deserve to be on your mind, whether the thoughts are positive or negative. The most benefitional thing for you is to accept that the relationship is over, and realising that by holding onto false hope your just hurting yourself. Dont get caught up on the 'what ifs' and the 'what could have beens', but instead focus on which lucky guy will get to be your boyfriend next.
I think that's perfectly normal... it happened to me when I was dumped by a guy who treated me poorly. I think the trick is not to beat yourself up about it--to accept that physical attraction can be separate from how you feel or think about someone. And of course as the person who was dumped it's not surprising to feel you want to get back together with the person; that's to be expected.
