Ok i have two problems and need help badly with both: 1st off I have a friend who i think is a lesbian. She goes to the gym and at first sight looks like a lesbian but I know thats not always a give away. She also dresses like a guy outside the gym and everytime she brings her "friends" around its always a girl and once it was another buch lesbian. Anyway I want to tell her that I'm bi and might be gay but dont know how to start. I was going to send her a text that I want to talk to her but Im not sure if that sounds too serious. Does anybody have any suggestions on how I could start the talk with her. 2nd off is my dad (again). I got pulled over and in a little trouble with the law tonight (but everything is ok just gotta pay a fine). My dad was pissed which is ok but in the middle of his yelling he tryed to get me to come out infront of him and my mom. We got to arguing about money and how I cant save any because im helping around the house and i get so upset that i start crying. Then he just turns the subject and says theres somthing esle bothering you just say it. And he goes on about me saying it and yelling because I just sit there. My mom is cluless as to why what he is saying is upsetting me even more. about 15mins later after we all calm down he looks at me and says "I love you but what you're doing is wrong and i dont like it you need to stop" He was talking about me being gay and for some reason wants me to say it. But everyday that passes he does nothing but says that being gay is wrong and not natural. Srry this is so long and the bit about my dad i guess was just a rant. But i really do need help with my friend and telling her. My dad....i guess I'll just have to survive for a bit longer.
First, your friend. Your best bets to come out to aren't necessarily people you think might be gay so much as those you feel most comfortable around. If you feel more relaxed and "yourself" around her, then I'd say she's a great candidate to come out to. But if your main thought is "I'll come out to her because she's kinda lesbian-y", I'd say you might want to look elsewhere. Second, I don't see any motivating reason to not tell your parents. Not saying it out loud doesn't make it go away - it's just getting further under his skin. Stop treating it like the elephant in the room. Don't "admit" you're bi. Affirm that you're bi. Lex
1. I texted idea worked for me. I just told my friend that was something I wanted to tell her, nothing was wrong, just something I wanted to get out in the open. 2. Bring it out just might turn the tables. Tell your Dad you love him, but this who you are, and it isn't going to go away by yelling at you. I think once you bring it out then he can't use it to frighten you anymore. right now its dark secret he is using to win an argument, take his weapon away.
Your dad already knows (or very strongly suspects) and violently disagrees with the fact that you're bi. So there's this huge elephant in the room. But if you simply acknowledge it, then at least you take things out of the theoretical so you can actually start confronting the problem. He's not going to give up. He thinks that if you acknowledge it, then he can more directly argue his points (which is likely true) but at the same time, you can also essentially put a stop to his arguments by saying "I'm bi, and you can say what you like, but nothing's going to change it. So we can argue for days, but it won't do any good. So please just start learning to deal with it" or something along those lines. Your dad probably isn't going to accept it immediately, but the sooner you come out and directly confront him, the sooner he will have to realize it isn't a choice and can't be changed, and the sooner he can start dealing with his feelings about it and come to terms with it.
