Out and proud... but so far in the closet I've found narnia

I'm basically in the same position with my family - minus the transgendered part.
I'm out to some people, and if anyone asks, I'll usually tell them the truth (if they seem trustworthy enough). My family comes from a strong Christian background (strong Catholic on my mom's side) and when I came out once to my mother, she claimed it all to be unnatural/unholy and totally rejected me. I also have kind of been a tomboy all my life and I don't exactly have the most girlish wardrobe, so throughout the years my mom will always find a way to reprimand me for what I wear. This basically works out as denial.

But I feel the exact same way. It sucks to be able to be out for your social life, but still be in the closet at home, with your family not knowing (denial) and having that insecure feeling of rejection. One day doesn't go by for me without thinking how I'll be able to deal with that once I come out (again) or get called out. And same for me, I also have a year and a half left. I want to get out of my house, too. :/

My whole plan has been to keep, well, hiding and/or to my parents until I know I can make it out on my own and have a stable income. This way I know I'm secure enough with living in case I can't go back home...

So... I'd say try to lie low until that year and a half holds out. Hang in there.

 

Well, as less-than-ideal your situation is, at least you can be you away from home. I'd suck if you were forced to be girl-in-a-skirt 24/7. Your best bet might simply to be to accept this as a failing or a whim of your parents.

My mother is one of two people left on the planet that still calls me by my birth name. It's a perfectly acceptable, fairly common Christian name, but I've simply never liked it. As soon as I left for college, I introduced myself by a new nickname ("Hi, I'm Lex.") and now everybody just calls me that as a matter of course. But my mother doesn't get why I did that, and sticks with the name she bestowed on me. And, basically, I let her. I don't insist on it. If she introduces me with that name, I'll just append "Most people call me Lex, though." I just decided I'm not going to fight with her on it.

It's presumably tougher when you're living with them, and there's clothing involved. But it might be best if you went along the same path. It's possible that you can get a bit of wiggle room somewhere - might you go shopping for some less overtly feminine "nice" clothes? Something more pants-like, but not overly masculine? The point is to nudge forwards. Don't insist on a shirt and tie, and don't draw lines in the sand. Make them understand that you are aware of their feelings and willing to compromise to take those feelings into account, and they might be willing to give a bit as well.

And yes - eyes on the prize.

Lex