Where do I begin...

Your initial post was only made a few hours ago. Give it time and people will reply I'm sure.

 

so? it's not like everyone who goes on this site religiously checks for new posts every half hour. if you need to talk to someone that badly and go into the chatroom. there's usually someone there to listen to what you have to say

 

First thing I think you need to do is talk to your therapist about your family situation and how it effects you, just bring it up. Dont wait for them to pull it out of you. Just tell them and if they aren't willing to talk about it with you find a new therapist.

Second, you know what your issue is, and you know what it stems from but don't know how to fix it. To be blunt it sounds like your in denial about it. It sounds as if you are looking for someone to come along and say something and that it will simply be fixed. You are the only person who has the tools to fix it.

Third please don't hate on the people here at EC. If they don't respond to something it's simply because they don't have anything to say about the situation. Which is better than jumping into every thread feeding people BS.

 

Have you tried to engage your therapist on this? You say right now that the therapist is "just someone to talk to", but have you specifically said "I think I understand why my relationship with my parents has made me to desperately want a relationship, but I'd like to work on getting to a point where I don't feel that way anymore - where I don't feel I need a relationship to feel complete."

Lex

 

It kind of sounds like you're looking for a relationship to try to give you a higher sense of self-worth (if that makes sense). I went through something similar and when I realized I was doing that, I tried to join various activities, that I found interesting, to try to boost my self-confidence and get my mind off wanting a relationship. And as the people before me said, if your therapist doesn't bring up something, you might try bringing up the topic to the person instead. I don't know if this was really that helpful, but I hope you can find something good in this.

 

I don't know if you've left yet, hopefully not, but I really really think you need to understand that while you're not sure what it is you want, you know what your problem is. I know you hate to hear "I agree with" but I think Lex is right. You should really talk to your therapist about this, that's what he or she is there for. I can understand too where you're coming from, I went through like 8 boyfriends (three of them barely count since they only lasted a week or weren't "official") and constantly was looking for the next one when one left me in the dust, it was only after the last one did I realize I don't need this acceptance of another person to make me happy. Now in your case I can see why this might be a concept harder to grasp because in your own family life you were always reaching out for attention but never receiving it, whereas mine always gave me it which is perhaps why it was easier for me to accept. I'm sorry you haven't been getting what you need from your family because those are the people who should be there for you, but you don't need some guy, especially one who's young and closeted, to give to verification of your existence, you have to give that to yourself.

I know, "easier said than done" but that's why I think you should really talk to your therapist. Tell him or her how you've been feeling ,what you're feeling, that you feel like you need someone in order to give you what you need, and perhaps then he or she can help you discover some means of helping you in the direction.

I wish you much luck and hope and love, remember while I understand people may take time to get back to you on here, but there are people here who care for you on this site and even if we don't get back to you RIGHT AWAY, we're still here, and we will help you the best we can.

S