Okay, so I have been in the closet for five years now, and I just recently came out to my sister. But after coming out to her, I realized something: I don't really know who I am. All I know is the persona I have created to make people think I'm straight. So now that I can finally be myself around someone, I don't even know how. I am thinking about coming out to some other people soon, but I really want to solve this problem first. So, my question is, how do I find out who I am vs the me I created?
Congrats Blue Rose, Some place in one of the recent threads this topic was discussed at great length.Hang on and someone will direct you.You are not alone with these feelings.
Welcome to the middle part of the journey that is coming out. You've already completed some of the most arduous parts, but honestly, the actual coming out is not the end of the journey. When I came out, I found that I finally felt free enough to explore the world fully, as though I didn't need to hold back any longer. I liken it to seeing in color for the very first time. So go out, explore, read, see, do. Of course, I'll offer the cautionary advice to be careful, but honestly, if you don't have any gay friends, try to find some and get them to show you the scene and get their insights. Don't worry about what people might see you looking at online, and if you happen to live in an area with a gay paper, feel free to read it. There's a lot out there for you to see and do, and the further you come out, the more you are released from a lot of the social bullshit that straight people have to worry about. Coming out is only one step in honestly figuring out who you really are. Enjoy this time, because it can be magical!
I agree wholeheartedly with Xequar however, I would like to add that knowing who you are is a lifetime's journey. The person that you are today will not be the person that you are in 10, 20, 30 years time. You will grow as your life experiences increase, you will develop as different opportunities come into your life. You have made the most important step, the rest is a voyage of discovery that you can enjoy for the whole rest of your life, don't try to rush things all at once. At your age you are the product of your parents and your education. As you go through life you will become yourself. ENJOY (!)
Don't worry too much about it. I'm sure that the 'real you' isn't that far removed from the 'external you' that you have presented to everyone. I understand how you feel though! Having come to the realization that I was gay in my 30s, I started to question every aspect of my life - including my choice of career. However, the fact of the matter is that I'm probably best suited to what I do, and there's no point in questioning that right now. I've got enough to worry about. And so do you. So don't sweat it. You are who you are, and that's good enough for the people that care about you.
Well, I agree with Jim, since you are still young, you dont have to think about it too much if it makes you feel uncomfortable, but dont keep geussing about your sexuality, beause you 'lll see that how quickyly your thoughts change about it And dont create another person in you, because it is not the truth, and it may even confuse you too. U dont have to come out if you dont want to, because you are not ready yet and if you come out with wrong imformation, it'll be hard because you wont have a chnace to take your words back, so just lay low, and enjoy your days, dont bother to think about it, dont make up any thoughst in your mind
congrats on coming to your sister,Just start to stop being what you are not,the real you will come out and you won't even realize it
