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Sad becase of "friends/ acquaintances"

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by diegon3, Dec 13, 2010.

  1. diegon3

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    I don't like the outcomes when it comes to me and the people i call friends through out my life. None of the people i call friends have ever gone out of their way to help me out as i would if not have for them. It has always been the case that i feel like a ghost and nobody really listens, or even calls me. I have been getting mad and sad because of this the only person who is really there for me is my boyfriend but asides him there is no one else not even family. So should i even consider these people my friends anymore?
     
  2. VentinIntrovert

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    Yeah I get those feeling sometimes as well. I dunno if it's just my homosexuality that makes me so sensitive to such issues, or if it's actually reality. But during those times I actually came out to them and confronted them. I pretty much didn't wanted to do anything with them again. They apologized and tried to reassure me, but nothing has changed. Now I guess I just lived life worrying a little bit more about myself and less about others so I don't get hurt so easily.

    From all that, I think you should talk to them first and express how you feel. If nothing changes, you can still be their friend but try not to get yourself hurt if you know what I mean.
     
  3. Mirko

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    Hi there! It is great that your boyfriend is there for you but it is important that you do have friends who are there for you as well.

    Friendships (like any relationships) are two way streets. They require work. Both friends need to be willing to give and work on it. If one starts giving more, and putting a lot more effort into it than the other, sooner or later the friendship will drift apart.

    One thing you could do is talking to your friends as to how you feel about your friendship with them. Sometimes, friends or people just don't realize that they have just been the taker, but never the giver. Sending some subtle reminders or telling them, "it would be great if you would be here for me when I need to talk or need a shoulder to lean upon. I need a friend who listens too." Maybe that will already do the trick.

    In the meantime, maybe try joining a few activities in your community or even a LGBT support/social group in your community (if you haven't done so already). Try to make a few new friends as well. (*hug*)
     
  4. Ciceron

    Ciceron Guest

    My response may not be exactly what you want to hear, but I am in a similar situation.

    Life is in essence a very long string of choices. Each a stepping stone to the various situations we all find ourselves in. You do not currently like the situation you find yourself in with your friends. I suggest you look at this situation and ask yourself what YOU can do to change it.

    Do you care about these people despite what might be shortcomings on their part? If so, I suggest you make an effort to call them yourself, or arrange for you and them to hang out more. Go out to eat, shop, come over for video games, or whatever you and your friends may enjoy. Tell them you feel no one ever listens or that you just want to know people care. If you need help with anything, just ask. If they are your true friends, they will listen, and they will do what they can for you. It's just what friends do.

    Now, should they still not listen to you, or simply do not care, then I'd venture to say it's time to get new friends. Not that I'd cut off all contact with the old or be in anyway rude, simply think of them more as acquaintances rather then friends.

    In the end don't let them bring you down personally, there are good people out there who believe true friendship is a special thing and will value it greater then anything else.
     
  5. Closet Case

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    Well, I wrote me 2 cents, but the damned post is missing. I hate that too, I spent 3 hours on it.