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Tell mom over phone or in person?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by mandarof, Dec 14, 2010.

  1. mandarof

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    From other experiences, what are some reasons in favor of both phone and in person outing? I have a few days where I could phone the information in. After that, I'll be coming out in person. I am ready to scream the information from the skyscrapers.

    As I see it, on the phone is much less personal but will allow more time for coming to terms. There is a lot going on right when I arrive so the extra time is very tempting. Am I being unfair to anyone saying this over the phone? I know I'd like a hug which I won't be able to have (if offered lol).

    Then I could plan some events for when I arrive to my own preference. I have some things to watch that will help bring them to terms, I hope, or just make me feel more comfortable.
     
  2. mandarof

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    I decided to tell my mom over the phone. This poses several benefits to the entire process for me. I then told my sister over the phone as well. They were both shocked but very supportive with, perhaps, not even a single negative comment. Next is my dad and I think my mom is telling him due to time issues.

    It was definitely difficult for me to pull off but I guess it's right. I still struggle a bit with actually living this lifestyle--of course I guess that shows I'm not fully at terms. Or maybe as I tell more people I gradually take baby steps backwards. I still have a lot of ground to cover...
     
  3. Mirko

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    Hi there! First off, congratulations on coming out to your mom and your sister! Well done! Glad that they are accepting and supportive. :slight_smile:

    It doesn't really matter as to how you come out. It is really up to you and with what you feel comfortable with.

    It seems that you are making some progress on becoming more comfortable with yourself. It takes time to overcome once internal homophobia. As you come out and receive support and acceptance, you will increasingly see your sexual identity as something completely normal and that there is nothing to be afraid of.

    In covering the ground (to use your words) make sure to take it slow, and to listen to your inner voices. When something doesn't feel right, stop and take step back and try to understand as to what is going on within you. If you start sensing that it is not the right time to come further out, that is okay. Coming out is not a race. Coming out is about you feeling comfortable with others knowing and being yourself around others. (*hug*)
     
  4. mandarof

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    So far this really does feel right. My dad is the final big step. Everyone else is important, but if they really weren't supportive I could live with that.

    It's interesting that in a family as large as mine (100 people total) that there isn't a single gay person. Is it wrong for me to think someone has to be hiding who they are? I don't want to do this BECAUSE I want to help others but I want to do this for myself. Yes, because I need to be comfortable with it myself.