1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Going to gay bars/clubs tomorrow night

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BasketCase, Dec 15, 2010.

  1. BasketCase

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2009
    Messages:
    331
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Not really an advice thread for a change.

    Tomorrow night will be the first time I have headed out to a gay bar etc with a group of other gay guys. I'm looking forward to it but nervous as hell. It keeps going through my head that I'll dress badly for it because my 'style' is not very fashionable and so on. In the scheme of things that wont really be important.

    Just hoping I can enjoy myself.
     
  2. Filip

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2009
    Messages:
    2,355
    Likes Received:
    105
    Location:
    Belgium, EU
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'll be crossing my fingers that you'll have a fun evening! Try not to worry about style or how you're coming off (the few times I went, I just wore whatever I liked, and things went allright). Just have fun hanging out and looking at the scenery!

    Worst case, it's just hanging out with guys in a bar.

    So have fun! (and let us know how it went!)
     
  3. sdc91

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2007
    Messages:
    1,402
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Castro, San Francisco, California
    The first time I went, I was given the advice to just dress pretty comfortably. No need to dress to impress in general... I just wore some Diesels and a V neck. As long as you don't look like you just woke up you should be fine (unless you look good rolling out of bed). Have a good time!
     
  4. malachite

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    Messages:
    2,769
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Orlando
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Just go to relax, don't worry about what your wearing, you're there to have fun not to be in a fasion show
     
  5. British Lad

    British Lad Guest

    Remember to take protection with you, just in case. If I was going I would take My 7mm semi - automatic with me.


    Lol
     
  6. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    * Pretend you're going out with friends, and pick out something on the nicer end of those clothes.

    * It's very easy to get overly nervous and drink too much. Don't. Order a drink and nurse it. Alternate between alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.

    * Take in the vibe. Don't worry about how YOU're coming across.

    * If somebody asks you to dance, or comes up and talks to you, this is a compliment. Treat it as such, even if you're not interested in dancing or talking with them. Say "I'm really flattered that you asked, but I'd rather not dance right now."

    * Feel free to approach anybody that you feel seems approachable. (Hint - nearly everybody is.)

    * Have fun, damnit.

    Lex
     
  7. mnguy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2006
    Messages:
    2,377
    Likes Received:
    450
    Location:
    Mountain hermitage
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Maybe don't think much about what to wear since that will make you more nervous, but just wear something you like and is your "go to" favorite. I think if you're comfortable in what you wear, others will see your confidence more than your threads.

    You're going with other guys so you can chill with them and hopefully see some good eye candy as well.

    Basically, what the others already said (including let us know how it went) :icon_wink :thumbsup:
     
  8. RedState

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,456
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Southeastern Conference
    Ahh...I remember my first time. scared as hell.
    I just wore a pair of Diesels a t shirt and a ratty baseball cap...wait a minute...that what I wear now...but anyway...no need to be too scared. It should be a fun time.

    I disagree with what some people have said...if you want to drink..drink. If you sit there and tell yourself that "well...I gotta have a water after this...blah blah" well, that tends to get in the way I have found. But of course, I drink a lot..but that's just me.

    If you wanna drink..do (goodness...you're from Ireland...you people invented drinking :slight_smile:)
    If you want to pace yourself..do
    Most important: have fun. There will be some creeps and some bitchy queens you will come across, but there will also be some pretty decent people.
     
  9. RaRa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2008
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Combine Lex's + Bam's advice and you're all set. :grin:

    And don't forget to smile!
     
  10. BasketCase

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2009
    Messages:
    331
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Wow, didn't quite expect that many replies to this thread.

    I'm going out straight from work, allied with the fact I got up late, means I'll be wearing a Polo short and jeans. I'm comfortable in these anyway.

    I'll see how the drinking goes. I've been able to reduce the occasions on which I drink but when I do go out I go with how I feel.

    As for protection, I don't envisage I will need it, but for a small community there is great resources available at close reach.
     
  11. mnguy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2006
    Messages:
    2,377
    Likes Received:
    450
    Location:
    Mountain hermitage
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hey man, I hope you have/had fun. You'll be nervous I'm sure, but hey, I was nervous going to a bar and buying alcohol legally for first time. I think that was silly now, but that's just how new experiences are for most people.

    So how was it?
     
  12. BasketCase

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2009
    Messages:
    331
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    It went ok. Nothing much to write home about.

    Bit of an anticlimax if I am honest

    Want to do it again though which is good.
     
  13. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I remember my first two thoughts upon walking into a gay club.

    "I thought we were all supposed to be much hotter than this."

    and

    "I thought we were all supposed to dance much better than this."

    Lex
     
  14. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    I'm actually planning on going to my first gay club really soon. I'm so freaking nervous for no reason haha xD so I'm glad your experience was uneventful and not "OMG that was horrible" :grin:

    Lex post also made me laugh haha
     
  15. Filip

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2009
    Messages:
    2,355
    Likes Received:
    105
    Location:
    Belgium, EU
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    First time I went to a gay bar was rather anticlimactic as well. Just a bar, and if you hadn't known it catered to gay people, it was just full of the kind of people you'd see at other bars. I drank a beer and a coke, and then headed off.
    Actually, the second time was exactly the same.

    The good thing about it, for me, was that I was faced with the fact that there's no shortage of gay people, and they were just as normal as everyone else. A great help in getting over any residual self-hate I still have!