please help

Hi sweetheart and welcome to EC (*hug*),

I'm Cécile and I am currently one of the advisors on EC. You're welcome to PM me, or any of the other advisors, anytime about anything. If you need to talk to someone, you're welcome to talk to me as much as you want to. I don't know if I'll be able to help, but even when I can't help, I can always listen.
You're also very welcome to post in the forum about anything that is bothering you. Feel free to ask questions, share your journey or just to let go what's on your chest. Ec is a very friendly place and I am sure you'll find people here who will relate to how you feel and who will be more than happy to provide you help and support.
Make yourself at home. Whatever you're going through, you're not alone on this boat anymore. Just let us know how we can help.
(*hug*)(*hug*) Cécile

 

If you haven't yet talked to Cecile - I'm also open to talk to if you want. I can't be your boyfriend (I already have that covered), but I'm always willing to lend a (green) ear. I've had two bouts of depression that I've managed to emerge from, as well, if that makes any difference. Feel free to post here, or click my name to the left there and choose "Send Private Message". Best of luck to you!

Lex

 

You can PM me as well if you wish. I always like to lend a kind ear.

 

If you still need someone to talk to: I'm here for you. I'm good at listening, and I think I kinda know what you're going through. Anyway, good luck with it.

 

Well, then maybe don't try to fit it into a neat story!
Just shout out the worst thing that's wrong right now and see what others have to say about that. Then you reply and over time we get the whole story.

So, what's bothering you most? What's the worst about "everything that's happened"? Parents? Friends? School? Being in the closet? Being in love with a guy? Being alone?
Just a single point to start can help!

 

"Start at the beginning, then keep going until you reach the end. Then stop."

You might start by giving us a little background. I'll give some questions, and you can answer as many as you feel comfortable answering, to whatever degree you feel like.

How old are you?
Where do you live? Not an exact address - just what country or (US) state, and whether you live in a city or rural area is enough.
What's your family situation like? Do you live with your parents?
What caused you to make an account here? Do you think you're gay? Bi? Not sure?
What are some reasons you think you might be depressed?

Once you answer those, I think we'll have a decent idea as to your situation.

Lex

 

Hi Misfit. Have you told anyone you're gay? I know for myself that the hardest time I had was knowing it only myself and no-one else. I felt isolated, afraid, actually very afraid, very sad. I didn't know what to do. I did consider suicide as an option to just remove myself from the situation. Thankfully the fist person I told was my sister, who was very supportive and helped me out. If talking to a friend or family member isn't an option, you can talk here. We listen and try to help from our experiences.
Yes christmas time is very difficult. I just realized a month ago that I'm gay. I haven't come out to my wife or rest of family so this year is really hard for me. Putting on a 'face' is difficult. But there is nothing wrong with saying that you are having a hard time with the holidays. You DON'T have to go into any details about what it is if you don't want to. YOU CONTROL the information that you want to give out. No one can force that from you.
Keep posting

 

Well, not sleeping properly, having suicidal and self-harmin thoughts, this indeed sounds like depression signs. This might be related to the fact to the fact you're closeted. Being a teenager is already not always easy to deal with, being gay and closeted is the icing on the cake.
Have you already considered coming out ? You're not obliged to start with your parents. A close friend that you trust can be more reassuring for a start. Or maybe your school counselor. Coming out to someone may help you to feel less lonely.
Seeking for other LGBT teens to talk to is also a very good idea. EC is definitly a great ressource for this and I'm happy you found the site. Feel free to create as many threads as you want, to post in other people's thread and walls or to PM the staff members if you want to talk in private about anything.
Take care, (*hug*) Cécile

 

Hey there! I think I can speak for nearly everyone on this site in saying that we all experience loneliness at some point. I know how awful life can be, I was depressed for a really long time. I considered self-harm, I scratch my arms until I drew blood on a handful of occasions. But this loneliness is a temporary situation. It seems all consuming but in reality, life moves on.

I came out to my counselor when I was 15 and depressed beyond belief. But things got better after that. I finally had a real person to talk to, not some username, but face-to-face communication. I think that that can be a great place to start, as they are bound to secrecy, if you request. But, even though I can't get on a plane and come to the UK to help you out (despite my desire to get out of my town for a bit), I will gladly listen to everything you have to say if you want to PM me.

Like Eleanor said, (in her usual eloquent way) joining this site is a very smart idea. I know that we are only people on a website, but we are support. I know the feeling of identity and belonging that comes with reading any post on here. We will gladly read and respond to whatever you need help with.

 

I'm glad you found us. Lots of good advise above. I would also suggest sticking around a while and exploring the site. Especially the Fun and Games section. Lots of well.... Fun and Games going on there.

 

Misfit, please know you aren't alone in what you're going through. It's great that you have found EC. A supportive community is probably one of the most important things to have when you're feeling the way you are, and EC is definitely a great place to find that. We're all here for you. I'm sure that most, if not all, of the members here have been where you are and have felt different and alone. Most teenagers go through a period like that as it is, but then when you add in the fact that you know you're gay, which is different and not always accepted easily, that just adds to it I'm sure. I didn't realize I wasn't straight til I was in college, and I went through a period of time where I was dealing with a depression and nothing went right at all. I didn't put effort into my school, my work, or anything and I just couldn't get out of the rut I was in. I didn't have the support I needed, and I didn't know how to get it. Then I found EC, and it really helped a lot, so I hope you too can find what you need here. *hugs*

 

Hi, Nice meeting you.=P I think YoU don't need to label yourself, if you do not wish to. You are who you are, and a label won't change that;
The people who are your true friends, won't care of a label.

I came out to my best friend first, it took me 3months( I was in a kindad depressed state - I thought it was unorthodox, as I am studying to become a psychologist, and always analyse everything and rarely lose control of my emotions) of thinking about it
and when I did start talking to her, she was like huh, what's so important you wanted to talk to me about? I left her that day with a big Q, "Think of the way I am" and I will tell you tomorrow.
Well the next day, she thought I was sick or something, and well I got the courage to tell her. She thought it was curious that I was reacting in such a way, that it did not matter and that she was my friend. From that we moved to what she thought were more "important matters" She wanted to know my crushes, past relations, and if my tastes in guys were like hers(She said 4 eyes, were better than 2). From there I came out to my sister, and then to my mom (who said she already knew since I was 11, and told me of being careful -a stereotype xD).
Then to my other friends one of my friends even got mad, because she was like, You waited this long to tell me??( I had told my guy friends before her, and she thought it was bad that I went out to them first and like 2months later to her).

I thought I needed a label, that they needed to know I was gay. It is true, that I was paranoid and would think of the way I had to react to stuff and not say things that would out me. But, hey, not much has changed I am still the same person... and with a little more liberty to voice stuff about my true self (like, talking about handsome guys?) - but I always had it, I just did not wish to use.

I don't think I made sense xD. Bt, good luck.
And you are not alone, at times you may feel that way.
However, if you look closer, you will see that you never are.
You make a difference, if peoples lives.
It may not seem that way
But, smile, you just made one in me=P