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Coming out to parents - forcing myself and what to say

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by foofighter, Dec 17, 2010.

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  1. foofighter

    foofighter
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    OK I really have to come out to my parents over the holiday break. More people know I'm gay than I can count (including parents of friends) and now that I have a boyfriend, being gay is a real part of my life. (And no I am not going to bring up my boyfriend to them anytime soon.) I'm going home tomorrow and I'd like to come out to them sometime that day. I feel like the only way it will happen is if I force myself. So I came up with an idea and I need your input.

    My idea is to mention to them before I get there that I want to talk to them in private sometime that day. I'd like to convey a semi-serious tone, but I don't want to freak them out! On the way up, I usually call my parents and let them know I'm on the way. I was thinking if I could casually ask something along the lines of "Hey and sometime today, you dad and I need to talk about something." It would be so nice if they would just ask me, "so what'd you want to talk about?"

    What do you guys think? Any suggestions on what to say? Any other creative ways to force myself?
     
    #1 foofighter, Dec 17, 2010
  2. Eleanor Rigby

    Eleanor Rigby
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    You seem to have pretty much taken your decision about telling them. So I'd say this is a good idea.
    Let us know how things ate going with them.
    Take care, Cécile
     
    #2 Eleanor Rigby, Dec 17, 2010
  3. csm123

    csm123
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    Hi Foofighter

    Your plan to mention the chat before you arrive home sounds pretty good to me.This sounds a good way of keeping yourself from chickening out and may have the benefit of your parents guessing and either asking or assuming and getting used to the idea.

    My advice as always is to be calm and confident and not make a big deal about it when you tell them,it just seems to work better.

    Good luck
     
    #3 csm123, Dec 17, 2010
  4. Lotty

    Lotty
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    Hey, I did almost the same with my friends. I send them a text message saying I had to tell them something the next day. One of them called me, and I told her. The next day, my two other friends kept pushing me to tell what was wrong. So after school, we went to my place and I told them. It went really well. But indeed, saying something before you actually get there helps. It'll make them curious and they'll keep pushing you, so you can't chicken out.
    Good luck!!!
     
    #4 Lotty, Dec 17, 2010
  5. Chip

    Chip
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    The only problem with that is sometimes parents don't want to wait and will badger you incessantly to tell them RIGHT THEN. If you are reasonably sure they won't, or that you're ok with telling them over the phone if they do insist, then go for it.

    I do think that setting something up so you're pretty much obligated to tell is a good plan.
     
    #5 Chip, Dec 17, 2010
  6. Revan

    Revan
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    Wow you sound exactly like me....all I can say is good luck...
     
    #6 Revan, Dec 17, 2010
  7. Horizon93

    Horizon93
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    Your way's not for me - I'm way too controlling and I'll tend to back out of anything that might be difficult if I don't do it all at once. But I think it'd work out and it sounds like you're ready, so best of luck!
     
    #7 Horizon93, Dec 17, 2010
  8. mnguy

    mnguy
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    That sounds good to help keep you on track to talk to your parents. Maybe you've already came out or told them u need to talk. Hmm, maybe the big news of DADT on the evening news will help you bring up the subject of your sexuality.

    Good luck and I hope they are cool about it with you and you have a great time at home and a merry Christmas. :thumbsup:
     
    #8 mnguy, Dec 18, 2010
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