Hello all, I am an emotionally dependant guy it means I'm always worried about what people think of me,I always feel like I need someone's approval and I'm so scared of my family reaction when some day they'll find out I'm gay it scars me because I don't know If I could live happily after losing their love because my family literally speaking hates gay people sometimes my mother makes hurtful homophobic remarks the other day we were watching tv and there were some gays on tv and then she saids "gay people are disgusting that's why God cursed them","gay people make me wanna puke","gay people are mentally ill" and I feel like I want to die.I know she's not perfect and I know she's a homophobe but among other aspects she's a very good person...my friends are hopobophes and they also make hurtful remarks The problem is I depend on their love :tears::tears::tears:
I can totally understand where you are coming from. I have some of the same issues, but my family doesn't make that harsh of comments about it. They don't really talk negative about anyone, EVER, but I know their religious beliefs and how they feel about homosexuality. I'm sorry that I don't have any great answers for you. I'm not "out" myself. I have an extremely close relationship with my father and can't seem to convince myself that my sexual preferences are worth damaging that. I've just decided to live my life and if I meet someone that I want to date, I will. I will just answer questions as they come up and hope for the best i guess. I'm not going to deny anything. Others here have a vastly different point of view about this, but in the end every situation is different. I guess the only thing to recommend is to try and fill your voids with people that are accepting and work on liking yourself as you are. Again this is kind of hypocritical from me because I fight with the same issues. Hopefully others on here can give you better advice. If you ever want to chat about it, I'll be available. Hang in there. Things will get better. (*hug*)
Same exact issues with me, only my parents don't make such harsh homophobic comments such as that. They'll usually just be like "Ewwww" whenever they see homosexual couples around, but I know their stance on the issue thanks to religion. Anyways, I get scared thinking what will happen to me, too, whenever I think about coming out to my family. And I am very dependent on them and all of my friends who are accepting of me. Your best bet is just to never give up, start liking yourself/become more independent, and maybe get some help (like a local support group) if worse case scenario follows. But always remember to never give up. There are others out there in a similar situation... in the end, it will get better. At least, I believe so. (*hug*)
You're in a tough spot, I'm not sure your age, but I can tell you I used to have the same fear. But, there will come a day when you realize you don't need mom and dad's approval. This is part of who you are, and if THEY want to continue to be in your life it is something THEY will need to be used to. Look self confidence isn't something you get over night. Its something you build for yourself. You say you depend on their love, but if their love is conditional then it isn't real love. You need to learn to love yourself, pick yourself up using your own will. Life is often a trial by fire, you can either let the fire burn you or galvanize you.
