This past year, I actually started dating, however everything has just been a one-night thing. All the guys in my area just seem to want one thing (yes, I'm talking about sex). I can't find what I want around here. It seems I have to look farther. I had a crush on a guy I went to school with a few years ago. I found out he was bi earlier this year, but at the time he had a girlfriend. I heard different things about him, that he broke up with his girlfriend to be with a guy, then the guy moved away. I wanted to ask him out, but I was told by his brother that he just went back to liking girls, which then put me in a weird place. I can't seem to win with any guy. I didn't think being gay was gonna be this difficult. I think I should just give up and be a loner for another while.
I dont think you should give up. I know it can be difficult to find exactly what you are looking for but dont give up. Have you tried free online dating sites for gay or bi men in your area? Where have you been looking for mr. right? Sometimes if its at clubs or bars they may only be looking for one night stands. My advice to you try and find a site where you can search men in your area. The rules state I cant post these links publicly, so PM me and I will share some nice dating sites that may work out for you. :icon_bigg
Starfish brings up a good point. If you're meeting guys at bars and clubs, that's usually where people go to "have a good time". People don't go to McDonald's and complain about the quality of the food there, because...well, because it's McDonald's. And people shouldn't be surprised that people at bars and clubs are only interested in sex because that's who's at bars and clubs. It helps also to remember that a majority gay guys at age 19 ARE mainly interested in "getting their freak on". That doesn't mean it's hopeless (at all) to find a young guy interested in dating and a relationship, but it helps to check right at the outset. Don't HOPE the guy is interested in more than a one-night stand, and don't HOPE the blowjob makes him think you'd make a great boyfriend. Even if you do it great, it just makes you really good at giving blowjobs. So do verify right at the outset - it'll save a lot of heartbreak. So where ARE gay guys who are interested in dating? Several places. Dating sites (NOT hook-up sites). Gay social clubs (rather than gay dance clubs). Volunteer groups. These places probably have guys interested in hooking up, as well, but you'll find far more who are interested in dating there. >>>The rules state I cant post these links publicly, so PM me and I will share some nice dating sites that may work out for you. Due to security concerns, we don't allow regular members to send private messages to each other. But if you really are interested in dating sites, I can probably suggest a couple via PM. Lex
Like Lex said, not everyone young is just looking for sex. My boyfriend and I are 21 and 22, and while we do often have sex, we also do a lot more than that, we go to movies, bowling, chat for hours on end, we have a relationship just like all the straight couples out there lol.
i should've mentioned that i've tried many different dating sites (still a member of one) and iPod apps, but guys one them either just want a good time or are way too far from me.
Well, I tried what you are doing for a while and I found it to be highly unproductive. I've noticed (and read a similar response that I'm going to give you in another thread) a problem regarding online bonds/friendships/hook ups. It's just my personal opinion but a vast majority of people met over the internet lack a substance that can be obtained from forging a friendship from scratch and I believe that comes from the fact that there are no barriers to talking to one another online as there are when face-to-face such as skin color, religion, political views, sexual tension, remorse, disgust, things like that. Not only that but there is also a stigma attached to meeting people this way. Another thing is that many people who are searching online for friends or relationships seem to be lacking something and it seems to vary as well. For some, its the inability to see what's wrong with themselves such as behavioral problems (drinking, drugs, peer-to-peer relations), others its because they're afraid of establishing relationships, and some because of self-esteem or self-image problems and I typically find these things highly unattractive so I've yet to find or have a successful online relationship (platonically) and many of them disappear after a while or I lost interest. However, I've met people at a gay bar and made great friends. (although, this isn't recommended either) I believe the difference is that people feel your relationship with them is more genuine and 'earned' that just created via online sites. Mind you, I love to go dancing and I'm known for being a tease but I very rarely give up the goods to people from gay bars simply because I like to create a friendship first. I've never had someone disappear on me after sexual relations via this method either. Hope this helps, Happy Holidays!
i've tried ############.com for a full year. i get lots of views, but most of them are from far away. i don't do the bar scene. i'm not the wild kind. i've decided to take a break from the dating/hookup scene.
