I know I'm of course worried about losing my parents since the last time I came out my Dad went golfing but my Mom almost kicked me out. So I went back in the closet. Now our relationship is still strong, but I'm not just worried about losing the relationship I have with them. But, and while I know this is so stupid sounding, but I'm kinda also totally worried that they'd cut me off financially. I'm going for post grad and need their financial assistance. I basically don't want my life ruined because I decided to tell them I'm gay....so I'm basically concerned double fold because I don't want my life ruined because I lose their assistance, but I also don't want to lose the relationship I have with them...it's too important to me...and I break down every time I think of it happening...
Dude, I totally feel you, but on the bright side - haven't you already come out once already? So your parents know you're gay...it's not a question of them discovering that fact, just accepting it. As far as post-grad stuff goes, there are other options for you to pay your own way through school, should the worst case scenario occur. I wouldn't base your decision to be out on whether or not your family will be able to financially support you. You're post-grad, which means you already have a degree of some kind. Do you have a job too? What did your mom say to you when she almost kicked you out?
Wow. Harsh. Sounds kind of like my mom... Well, I wouldn't worry about coming out to them again. I'd just be yourself and not bring it up with them unless you have a significant other that needs to come over for the holidays or something. Who you sleep with is your personal life, it's really none of their business unless you show up on a police blotter for soliciting truckers at a rest stop or something, and in that highly unlikely case, I wouldn't really blame your mom for getting upset about you "ruining her reputation". Otherwise, you being gay doesn't change a damned thing in your relationship with your folks. You're still the same guy. Just one that prefers bratwurst to tacos.
You're very right. Thing is, that should be told to his parents, and they need to understand it. That's the thing you need to tell them when you're coming out Maverick, and I think you should write it down in a letter.
http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41003 ^ Done. Emphatically. :icon_wink But writing a letter might not hurt you either, Revan. That way you can explain your feelings on the situation without being interrupted or shot down.
I tried a letter once before....though maybe because I was 16 is why it maybe wasn't written as well or something...
Nothing wrong with the letter, but my thought is - you've come out to them already. You've told them. You don't have to tell them again. Just assume they know. If they bring up your sexuality, or ask why you don't have a girlfriend or something, just say "I don't think we should go into that again" and leave it at that. Lex
See the thing is, they're so unbelievably in denial, I kind of would have to. My mom keeps pressuring me to date my best friend, we'll call her L, because of how well we get along together. We had her down to Florida this past summer and all Mom would do would say "make sure you two don't lose touch, you should really marry her because she comes from a great family" and on and on....so you guys can see why I said I need to tell them again...
There is plenty of financial support available for post-grads in Ontario, from what I understand the government wants postgrads so they're making it really easy. If you haven't looked into it yet, definitely do it.
This is my personal take on it, but I wouldn't come out to my parents if there was big chance that I would lose their financial support. As long as staying in the closet with them isn't affecting the rest of your life then I say its ok to stay in the closet until you can stand on your own two feet. Thats a personal call, though. Good luck
I'm with Lex. You've already come out. They have forgotten about that, and they'll eventually realize they can't turn you straight, no matter how a good a family this girl comes from. Just go with things like, "I'll stay friends with her. Can't promise any more than that".
