Okay, so I am gay for sure. But I have a very good friend of mine who has a brother who is only a year younger than me. From the first day I have met him I have sort of felt like he has some "tendencies" for guys but I was never sure. Ever since then I have picked up on the little things that he does that could prove him to be secretly bi. I'm not sure if these "little things" would count though. He will do sort of flirty stuff with me (He knows I am gay), and for a straight guy he is very tolerant of gay people. I feel like he's almost so tolerant to an extent that he is more tolerant than I am. I've always wanted to ask him if he's secretly bi but am always been afraid. I stupidly asked one of his friends to ask him but then that person went to him and told him I liked him & wanted to know if he was bisexual. My friend told me that. She also said he didn't say much about it. We also were drinking a few nights ago and my friend said that her brother is secretly bisexual. Her brother didn't say anything after that except "Let's not talk about stuff like that" and tried to avoid the subject. So what do I do? Would I have any luck or no? Thanks for reading this
I don't find it embarrassing at all to ask someone that. All your asking is if hes bi, your not asking for a date. I think asking him out would be harder than asking his orientation. You guys are friends (or sort of friends, not sure because you said he was your friends younger brother) but yea, just ask, and if its no then shake it off like you were just curious. Hes tolerant, couldn't imagine anything huge happening. Fox
The concept is hard to grasp, I just never have the chance to ask him because he's always around his other friends and I never really get a chance to be alone with him. I don't know whenever the right time it is to ask him. I'm just also afraid of asking in general. Is there any way around directly asking him, like a way to get him to tell me?? :/
Ha, I don't really think so. I think the easiest way possible if you absolutely hate direct talking is to get his number and txt him or something, facebook etc. He knows your gay, seems like if he wanted to tell you, he would have done it already. Just ask him either in person or through a txt. Its just a question, dont confess your love which burns the intensity of a thousand suns just yet and you'll be fine =). Fox
I have a similar situation, except the friend is a very close friend and there's no excuse for me not to have asked by now (except the person is married - that's why I feel awkward. It's ought to be a moot point.). But, like you, this person is way more tolerant of gays than me, so is their spouse, they talk about it way more than me (all the freakin' time). Very touchy-feely person with me, very comfortable around same sex gay people (almost odd, in fact it is odd - I can't tell if she's trying to make a point or if she's bi or gay herself). I'm confused. So I'm in the process of writing down what I need to say to her (a bit different situation than yours - this lady is kissing me on the lips, "friend-like", she's not snogging me). Just saying I understand that it seems odd when someone poses as straight and seems uber tolerant. I have many gay friends who are tolerant. But they aren't over the top like this person. Further, I've seen this process before (why my radar is dinging). Someone is over tolerant and then declares they are gay (the flip side is they are homophobic and then declare gay). Both extremes. I think you ought to ask the guy in person or txt him, FB him the question. No big. Be prepared for him to not respond. Maybe say, "it's none of my business, but I was wondering. You can talk to me if you'd ever like. And anything said will be kept between us. I understand that." Make him feel safe.
Just ask him. The worst he can say is no and if he's supports gay people like you said, he wont have a problem with it.
Okay, you all say that like it's so easy, but I don't think it is. I don't know if it's the same, but my crush may be bisexual too. I'm just too afraid to ask her. It's a personal question, you don't ask that to just anyone. If I thought a friend of me were gay, I wouldn't ask either, but wait until he/she is ready to come out. If you ask, it seems like you want to know. Really want to know. Because it could be important to you. But don't let me disencourage you. You should ask him.
