So I've been seeing this guy for about, two months - On a few bases, He's "Strictly Bi-curious" (Please,) I'm pretty sure he's bisexual so please don't start on possibilities, etc. He doesn't "Want" to be gay. He's afraid of it, He's afraid of living in sin and lust, and all that horsejunk religion brings. I don't know what I can do for him but sit there and look stupid. He's so upset over half of this and he just keeps his emotions to himself. I'm completely fine with everything but Its driving me insane knowing he's uncertain. Not to help but his brothers are in town, whom are very religious and apparently not too fond of gayness of any degree.. I'm not sure what I can do for him. Any ideas -- Even if I can't help him, its nice to discuss this stuff.. It hurts me to see him like this
Here is some reading. I don't know what religious denomination this dude you're talking about is, but if he's Christian, this film explains basically how the Bible is a man-made thing and stuff. God doesn't hate people who aren't straight. Any "Christian Influence" of homophobia was done by corrupt men.
I'd try and talk it through with him, rather than just leave him to it. I would ask him what attracts him, who he feels he can bond with and such, ask him what he thinks about himself and the LGBT community, let him release his pent up emotions. Then try and explain to him how there are more important things in life than the gender of your partner, even in religion your partners gender really isn't brought up that much, there's far more important points the bible is trying to get across. Plus Christianity is all about indescriminate love right? Well that's exactly what it is, you can't help it and it makes up a part of your personality so without it you wouldn't be "you", as "sins" go I'd say it is pretty minor. The majority of the discrimination didn't come from the bible anyway, people just try and use selective phrases to back up homophobia.
Interesting consept. he is a christian, acutally. a nice dutchie one at that. I might do that one day. nowhere soon as its christmas at the moment, maybe early jan.
Like joey said, one of the things you can do is show him "For the Bible Tells Me So" Its a pretty good documentary that tries to find common ground between religion and homosexuality. Same thing that was done for science and religion. Here is the official website for it: http://www.forthebibletellsmeso.org/index2.htm What I really like about the documentary is that it tried to not attack religion and tries to give another perspective to it all. And just because this documentary pretty much saved me a lot of headaches: [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajBR0dq0XXk[/YOUTUBE]
For starters, I wouldn't call it horsejunk. Make sure when you're talking to him you don't put down his religion or try and get him not to believe anymore. I am very religious and I resented every gay person who told me I should leave my faith as it is a big part of who I am and it showed in my mind a total lack of respect, at least the way they said it did. All in all, you'll just have to be patient. Point him in the direction of resources which can help him. The ones mentioned above are good, Mel White's "Stranger at the Gate" is also alright.
I certainly wouldn't do such a thing to emotionally harm him. Its honestly some junk in my mind, though as a lot of it just causes unnecessary drama. I respect he is a christian, and I've made him more than aware .. lol
Yep, great movie suggestion. Google "Letter to Louise" and gay christian and you'll find lots of resources. Mel White and Gene Robinson are great Christian role models. The Bible doesn't hate on gay people anymore than straight people. It's just been used that way by people and repeated until many think it's true. One of my favorite videos http://www.soulforce.org/article/mel-white-sermon-video. I hope it can help your bf. It will probably take him a while to reject the false teaching he has learned, but I hope he can come to see the real truth.
Realistically, talking to him about it will mean more than showing him a film. See if you can find one of those red-letter Bibles, with Jesus' words highlighted from the rest of the text. He says lots of things, including on family morality, but nothing against gay people. Talk to him about the good your relationship brings to your lives. Does he believe that God would make him in a way where couldn't find love? I did a quick search gay Christian organizations, you could try http://www.gaychristian.net/ or http://www.gaychristian.net/ From the sounds of things, probably best for him not to press things with his family for quite a while anyway. You could also suggest he read about Gene Robinson http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gene_Robinson , http://www.nhepiscopal.org/images/stories/Biography___updated1.pdf [youtube]mPZ5eUrNF24[/youtube] I'm an ardent atheist myself, but someone who is vulnerable is unlikely to respond well straight away to a full frontal attack on their beliefs.
My mistake copying. The other should be http://www.ecwr.org/ As I said, I'm an atheist, so I'm not the best person to advise on what groups or sites are worthwhile. But my point is, there are resources out there.
