So, I've been out to my prents for more than 5 years. Several of my relatives on my dad's side "know", but have never discussed it directly with me (I think they asked my sister). I almost told everyone on that side tonight at Christmas Eve dinner, but chickened out at the last minute (it doesn't help that several people buzz around the dishes neurotically after presents and dessert). Another issue with my coming out to them is that I don't necessarily have my parents' support in doing so. In general, they're very supportive, and have been great (a few awkward questions aside), but, for instance, my dad sees it as "just a small part of me," and not something that people need to know. My mom's a bit more candid about it, letting it slip out to friends and such on occasion, but still doesn't shout it from the rooftops. Should I come out to my relatives like I want to? And if so, how do I convince them that I should as well? I don't consider being gay all that defines me, but it is a large part of the way I see things. And I don't necessarily want PFLAG-fanatic parents, but it'd be nice if I could find a way for them to "get" my drive to let people know. I thought of a kind of analogy tonight: it's not quite like telling people I have blue eyes, but it's like telling a blind person I have blue eyes. AAAAAH frustration
Being that it IS christmas, maybe it's best to hold off on telling the relatives until the holiday is over. I know you want to, but you don't want them to associate it with a holiday, and you dont want to compete with a holiday either. I say give it a few days, let the excitement settle down, and then just let it slip out in conversation. Chances are once one person is told, everyone will find out. If I were you, don't make a big deal about it. Your dad's right, it is only a small part of you. Just let it slip out naturally in conversation. Or if say a cousin or something talks about some guy on tv, do what feels natural. It will come out on it's own if you don't make an effort to hide it. That's probably the easiest way to do it. You shouldn't have to convince your parents that you should do it either. It's your life, you get to make that decision for yourself, though it would be easier with their blessing, it sounds like they'll be nothing but supportive no matter what!
The way I see it is that the most natural way of coming out.. is just being yourself. You don't have to make a huge announcement. It will come naturally. For example, if you have a boyfriend you can just mention him during a conversation. Something amongst the lines: oh, this is my bfs favorite christmas dish! This way you won't put any pressure onto you parents and you won't be "stealing the attention" either. No big announcements or drama
Not sure how old you are, or how close you are to these relatives - both of which would come into play to some degree. If you're over 21 and/or living apart from your parents, fuck it - tell them anyway you want. Any friction would be minimal because you're not seeing your parents all the time. Otherwise, it's best just to bring it up on conversation. If you have a boyfriend, say so. If you don't, mention that you're interested in dating but you're having a tough time finding a suitable boyfriend. There - done. You didn't make an announcement, you didn't "rub their faces in it". You simply mentioned it in conversation. Lex
