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Boyfriend Advice...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by friedgabe, Dec 27, 2010.

  1. friedgabe

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    Hey guys. So, I need some support...

    My boyfriend's parents hate him for being gay. So, he's not allowed to leave his house until his 18th birthday. Which is March 29th. I love him to death. But it's so hard not being able to see him. His brother is living on his own and might be able to get us together sometime before then... but I just don't know. :/

    Help?
     
  2. browneyedboy

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    Hey really sorry to hear your having such a difficult time.
    I can give you support but hopefully one of the wise admins or advisors will offer their advice soon (ive found out theyre really good at it) :slight_smile:

    from what i gather your boyfriend has come out to his parents recently(?). From the coming out posts ive read on this site, it seems parents need some time to come to terms with the information and often react harshly and irrationally when they first hear the news. Hopefully your bfs parents will soon come to terms with his sexuality and everything will be good.

    Sending love and support, stay strong :slight_smile:
     
    #2 browneyedboy, Dec 27, 2010
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2010
  3. Miyaga

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    OH NO this is terrible. Stay strong. does he have access to a computer or phone? Is he completely cut off from you?

    I agree with browneyedboy parents do need a bit of time, I believe it is a mix of confusion and or time needed to adapt to our generation.

    hope it all works out PM me if you need to chat, I am here to help (*hug*)
     
  4. friedgabe

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    He's been out for a while.
    They're righteously Christian... :/

    They're not getting used to it.
     
  5. Mirko

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    Hi there! Sorry to hear that. (*hug*)

    Has your boyfriend tried to contact a church of an accepting denomination? My thought here is that maybe what could help his parents to move away from their current position is if a pastor or minister tries to talk to them. It might be hard to get that to happen, but it could help with an explanation of god, the bible and homosexuality.

    Another thing I would suggest is that if you or your boyfriend talk to someone at your nearest PFLAG chapter and ask for some resources that could provide for some information and ways of approaching it. There are also some movies such as 'Prayers for Bobby' and 'For the Bible Tells me so.'

    Sadly, for some parents it can take quite a long time to come around to it but, once they are confronted with alternatives, at times they will start changing their views over time.

    It seems that his brother is accepting and supportive. Has his brother tried to talk to their parents on his behalf?
     
  6. Eleanor Rigby

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    I'm really sorry about your boyfriend's situation. This must be very hard for both of you.
    Is there any way your boyfriend can get support, from friends or in his family ?
    Here is a link to Pflag booklets that might be helpful to your boyfriends. I doubt it can do miracles, but in such a situation, everything is worth the try.
    http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Publications/Daughters_Sons.pdf
    http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Publications/Faith_Families.pdf
    Let us know how are things going for both of you.
    Many (*hug*) Cécile
     
  7. malachite

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    Unfortunatly this is something HE is going to need to take front of. They are his parents after all.

    But here are some thoughts.
    Why does the Bible have to be a strick set of rules? Instead of being a way to identify a relationship with the Lord.

    God hates gays? But he is ok with parents who treat their kids like shit?

    The Bilble was written by man, so it is falable.

    Why is it we only take the parts of the Bible seriously that conform to the beliefs we already have? If you asked someone is slavery was ok, they would probably say, no. But, there is a clear set of rules of how to treat slaves and how to sell your kids into slavery.

    Leviticus says that being gay is an abomination...well he says the same thing about shell fish...seriously. "But all in the seas or in the rivers that do not have fins and scales, all that move in the water or any living thing which is in the water, they are an abomination to you." (Leviticus 11:10)

    So, what is actually happening is his parents are homophobic and are using the Bible as sword to strike out at anyone they already don't like.

    So, you said he is turning 18 in March, right? Let me explain a little power kids have over their parents, once you move out you need NEVER talk or see them again. So, what he can do is be blunt.
    I'll be back when you stop actting like brainwashed idiots.
     
  8. Revan

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