I wish things would just get easier. I wish I could come out. I thought about playing on a quote by Isaac Asimov to come out on facebook. The original quote: "I am an atheist, out and out. It took me a long time to say it. I've been an atheist for years and years, but somehow I felt it was intellectually unrespectable to say one was an atheist, because it assumed knowledge that one didn't have. Somehow, it was better to say one was a humanist or an agnostic. I finally decided that I'm a creature of emotion as well as of reason. Emotionally, I am an atheist. I don't have the evidence to prove that God doesn't exist, but I so strongly suspect he doesn't that I don't want to waste my time." My modified version: "I am a homosexual, out and out. It took me a long time to say it. I've been a homosexual for years and years, but somehow I felt it was damaging to my person to admit. Somehow, it is better to say one is a heterosexual or just say nothing at all. I finally decided that I'm a creature of emotion as well as of reason. Emotionally, I am a homosexual. I don't have the evidence to prove that I was born this way, but I so strongly suspect I was that I don't want to waste my time explaining why or how." But everyone who I've spoken to one-on-one, those who know that is, tell me to do it individually. And I see the reasoning for this; but at the same time I very much do not want to. I don't know what to do. I just need help.
Hi there! (*hug*) You don't have to explain to anyone that you were "born this way." You have already mentioned a couple of things that stand out, and show that you have accepted yourself which is already huge. Be proud of yourself for being able to say that and to admit it to yourself. You have already come out once. Why do you don't want to come out individually? Maybe write out the reasons, as to why you don't want to. Another question I would have is, when you think about coming out to a friend or a family member, how do you feel?
You say you've "spoken to people one-on-one" - does that mean you HAVE come out to some people? (If so, update your status there. ) It's my personal belief that "coming out" is something to simply get beyond. It doesn't truly matter how you get to the other side of the closet door - the key is just to get there. It's best if you do it without causing grief or pain to others, but that's rarely that much of a concern. If you'd rather just post it on facebook, do it. Lex
Seconding Lex. There may be a few people whom you owe it to tell personally, but by and large coming out is just something to get done with.
I am far from being the best person to give coming out advise, but it seems to me that coming out is a very personnal experience and for that reason, it's different for everyone. You've been struggling with this long enough, and if you feel ready to come out this way, then I'd say go for it. You can also send your coming out message in an e-mail to some people you think you have to come out in person, if you feel comfortable doing it. But for now, it seems to me that the most important thing for you right now is not how you come out, it is for you to come out. (*hug*) Cécile
You should come out how you want to come out, if doing it through Facebook is how you want to do it then I think that is how you should do it. Maybe just decide if there is anyone else that you do want to tell individually so that you can tell them before you post it. In terms of what you want to say, I think that it's good. I think that the reworking of the quote is great.
Honestly... if it works for you then do it! If coming out person-to-person is hard, then don't and use the mass media! Then they'll all know and you can actually BE out instead of COME out. It's much better on this side of the closet door! One slight bit of criticism, though: I would change that last sentence around. "I don't want to waste my time talking about it" might give people the wrong idea. Unless you really don't want them to mention it at all, obviously.
