The clerk likes me. REALLY likes me. And I can't flirt.

Okay, so at this convenience store I frequent enough to know the regular counter-guy by name, there is a new counter-guy. We'll call him Ricky, 'cause that's his name and screw the innocent. Anyway, Ricky seems to be really interested in me - winks at me, calls me "honey" and "sweetheart", gives me hot looks, initiates conversation unrelated to business transactions, and just generally hits on me every time I go in there.

Which is fine, because he is fine. :icon_redf However, I'm kind of conflicted about him coming on to me when I'm presenting as male, for a couple of reasons. One, I identify as bisexual because I still find men attractive to a degree, but I react to flirtation from men like a deer in the headlights - I can't help it. It's not that I don't feel comfortable receiving the attention, I am just not quite sure how to reciprocate and show him I'm interested. I don't want to get all coy and eyelash batting and whatnot, because I'm simply not that kind of person. But at the same time, I don't want him to read my non-feminine wiles as non-interest, either...

Also, I can't accurately judge his motivation or whether he has ulterior motives (like gauging whether I'm a lesbian or not). He seems to be coming on to me pretty strongly, but I can't tell if it's friendly, "Hey, I like you and want to be your friend outside of this establishment" interaction, or "Hey, the whole woman-as-man thing is a super hot turn-on for me, we should go out sometime" sort of hinting around.

I feel like a complete loser for even being so suspicious of his interest in me. I don't know what he sees when he sees me walk in - An uber-tomboy? A dyke? An androgyne? Is his interest fetishistic, curiosity, or genuine romantic interest?

This is the first guy I've felt sexually attracted to in a long time, and since he comes off as straight and not gay, I don't know how I feel about it...the "honey" and "sweetheart" talk is kind of feminizing and weird for me. On the flip side, lots of people in the South throw those words around about random strangers all the time with no romantic connotations involved. (Just not usually about dudes. Therein lies the rub.)

What do you do when straight people hit on you?

*sigh*

I've noticed that men in general have been flirting with me a lot harder since I started wearing men's clothing. I don't know if it's because I just project more self-confidence and self-acceptance when I'm able to express my true gender identity, or if it's because tomboys are a serious turn-on for a lot of guys.

There's also an attitude of, "Lesbians are just women that haven't been properly ****ed yet" around here, so sometimes I get the nagging feeling that I come off as some sort of sexual conquest to these guys, too. Which makes me highly uncomfortable in the same vein as transsexual fetishism does.



---------- Post added 29th Dec 2010 at 02:05 PM ----------

PS: My first inclination was to simply stop going to that store, and I know that's not a healthy response. :dry: