I don't often get a crush on someone. It's a result of a combination of factors like personality, conversation, appearance, and so on. However, I've met this person whom I really, really like: he's cute, nice, smart, and very easy to talk to. We sing in the same vocal ensemble at school, so we see each other pretty often and share a lot of interests. Recently, we've been spending a lot of time together--getting drinks, having dinner, hanging out at night. We've sort of been taking turns paying for each other (but he tries to pay a lot!) and always have a good time. I'm wondering if this is going to go any further... I mean, I think he's just great, and we have good conversations that always last a really long time. A few days ago, we were at a restaurant for almost four hours; in fact, the management had to kick us out because they needed the table! We've talked about a lot in conversation--our classes, our teaching, gossip, guys we've been with, etc. Sometimes, when we're hanging out at my place or his, we have these pauses in conversation where neither of us says anything, but we just kind of look into each other's eyes for a few moments. Then, one of us usually turns away (I do because I don't want anything to be awkward) and the conversation continues. I'm not quite sure what to make of all this. We'll probably be hanging out together on New Year's Eve, and I know we'll have a great time no matter what happens. That being said... do you suppose anything could happen between us? And how would I be able to tell or to help move things along a bit? I've never really been in this situation before.
Hi there! From what you have mentioned in your post, I'd say ask him out on a date. From what you have said, it sounds like you could have had a couple already, just not knowing it or spelling it out. If you are interested in him, you have a great time, you like him, and you feel you two have a connection with him, go for it. It sounds like that the both of you have and continue to develop feelings for each other, which is great! Talk to him, and mention to him that you are having a great time and ask him out. Keep building the friendship and at the same time, try to take it to the next level as it were. At the very least, you already have a friend in him. Hope this helps! (*hug*)
Obvious Gargoyle has Obvious Question - does he know you're gay? Not "he can probably tell" or "it's pretty apparent". Does he know? And, secondly, do you know if HE's gay? If yes and yes, then Obvious Gargoyle has Second Obvious Question - why don't you just ask him? Lex
Yes, I know that he's gay, and he knows that I'm gay. I suppose I haven't flat-out asked him because he's just so nice to everyone that I can't tell if he's being the same to me or if there's something different that would suggest some sort of interest. As far as asking him out on a date is concerned, how can I make something a date rather than just an evening of going out with a friend? We're good friends, so it's hard to distinguish.
Hi there! All you have to do is to make it 'official.' If you look at how one defines a date, you have already been on at least two. From what you have said, it sounds like that the guy is interested in getting to know you, otherwise he wouldn't be spending four hours at a restaurant with you. He pays for you. You paid for him. Why not just ask it that way: "Hey, for the last several times we have been going out for dinners, we talked and had a great time. I certainly did. When you come over we talk and just kept talking. Wondering, would you like to go on a date with me. We could go for dinner to a place to which we haven't been yet, and maybe do something nice afterward."....
