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My prides in the way again

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by CarnationXXRain, Dec 31, 2010.

  1. CarnationXXRain

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    SO, i don't know if i can ask this because it has nothing to do with being a lesbian, atleast i dont think so but i really need advice. Over the summer i went through a lot of hardships and it changed the loving and soft person i once was. now im much colder and harder, i don't open up a lot and im still moderatly depressed. I thought i was ok for the past month but the girl i love practically slapped me in the face telling me that im not the person she fell in love with and just basically telling me that i really have changed a lot and am very burdened by my grief and hardships. i used to be a very free and loving spirit. but alas i was always the strong one, i knew what to do in every situation and was always a leader. now though, my pride has become a problem and i don't know how to accept help from anyone right now, how can i accept help without feeling weak and pathetic?
    <sorry it was long...>
     
  2. Pragmatic

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    Well, may I ask what kind of hardships you suffered? That may have a lot to do with your sudden change in behavior or attitudes. Sometimes, I find in situations like this, the best thing to do is to find someone to talk to. And if you won't allow it to be one of your friends, seek a third party (counselor, teacher, somebody uninvolved in your life). This can do a lot to improve your outlook. There's no such thing as being weak and pathetic when seeking and longing for acceptance and help. I disapprove (from only what I've seen/read) about your partner being rude like that but if more than one friend is making such statements and believing that you've changed, it's definitely time to sit down and have a deep introspection and try to resolve the problem. I went through something similar about a year ago.

    You're not alone.
    (*hug*)
     
  3. CarnationXXRain

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    Thanks,:icon_redf i was raped by my boyfriend at the time and let him use and abuse me(before i came out and stuff), my parents were divorcing, my best friend/the girl im in love with decided to take a break from me, and i had recently dumped my first love for very self-destructive reasons. I think what really set me off was when my step-dad who raise me since i was 3 decided to disown me during the divorce. Im just really tired of fixing myself, you know? i killed myself for a really long time but now that im better it's still not good enough.People try to help but they just don't know how.
     
    #3 CarnationXXRain, Dec 31, 2010
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2010
  4. Pragmatic

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    Well, that gives me a much better (if not melancholic) version of your point of view. I could definitely see why and how it is possible that you may have changed. It's sad that your boyfriend and girlfriend both haven't exactly paved the road well in your romantic life, and that you continually get graded on by the home life as well. I recommend just talking about it to someone and seeking some counsel. You also have to let people in too. People can't help if you shut them out. Even if you don't like trusting others or such, they can't get close if you don't let them.

    But I can congratulate you on having the courage to admit that to yourself and to move forward and grow from it. That's a rare and very powerful gift that not many come by easily if at all.
     
  5. CarnationXXRain

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