Having finally spoken about being gay to my best friend (the first time since coming out a few months ago), he asked me (briefly and quite drunkenly) if there were any guys I liked, and to be honest, there weren't. If I ever see a guy I like, I'll convince myself that he's straight and would probably hate me if he found out I liked him, so I'll completely ignore the thought until it's gone. Even when I think of guys I've liked in the past, I wonder if I actually like them or if I just want their friendship. I really feel like it's impossible for me to ever get a boyfriend. Right now I've moved into a new flat with a few guys, one of which I get on with quite well, but i find myself putting on my straight act, and when thinking about it, I'm not sure if I like him or if I just want to be friends with him? I'm really confused, and TBH, really tired of being alone
I do the same thing actually. I usually push guys away if it seems that they like me or are friendly w/ me because I'm too afraid to try to have a relationship. Also I'm still pretty much in the closet which is also a huge reason for the repression for me.
My solution: come out to more people. If you think you like the guy, test the waters a bit. Ask him what he thinks of gay people, etc. If he seems receptive, then go for it. The difference between friendship and romantic relationship can be subtle, thus hard to distinguish. It will probably become easier as you come out more/date more people. Also, if this is already a close friend, if he would hate you just because you were gay, then he isn't really a good friend now is he?
