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Just unsure how to take this

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Trailblazer, Jan 2, 2011.

  1. Trailblazer

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    Hey, I'm not really sure what can be said about this, just offended me a little bit.

    When I first woke up this morning my mom started a small conversation

    Mom: Hey, did you hear Elton Johns a father now?
    Me: So?
    Mom: You wouldn't want to be raised by two gay boys would you?
    Me: What would it matter?
    Mom: Its gross.. Atleast they'll grow up rich..

    Just sort of caught me off guard...
     
  2. Miyaga

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    Ohhh sounds to me a bit ignorant. Does your mom know you are gay? If so it sounds like she is having issues with it, it may not be you, but with the entire situation.

    Did you voice to her that it upset you? I know it may be difficult but by doing so could, maybe, help her realize that what she said is not ok.

    When I came out to my family my mother went through a denial phase where she just thought I would come around. She too made similar comments about my sexuality and never really targeted me, but targeted are gay people. It took a lot but I called her out on it one day. She started to try because she really hadn't realized what she was saying.

    Sadly sometimes people need to be woken up from the reality of themselves.

    Hope this helped you, if you need anything else just let me know (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
     
  3. Lexington

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    It's a bit surprising that anybody would call Elton John a "gay boy". :slight_smile:

    How should you take it? As evidence that she might need some education in the whole "gay thing".

    Lex
     
  4. deep edward

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    Your mom sounds like a 10 year old girl.
     
  5. foofighter

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    Don't worry about it. It's just ignorance. This is what happens when most people are only exposed to one side of homosexuality (thanks to the media). I know several people who used to think this way (including myself), but now they are completely supportive and understanding.
     
  6. Beachboi92

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    i personally take it as a hint that she may suspect you to be gay or is at least curious if you are xD My dad would do stuff like this and i guess hoped that it would deter me from being gay xD

    just stick to your guns on it and speak your mind like you did. I wouldn't get into to heated of a discussion about it if your not ready for her to ask you if your gay tho. However if your feeling up to it you could always inform her that the united states pediatric association (believe that is the group) did a study and found that having gay parents had no effect on the sexuality or behavior of their children any more than having straight parents did. In fact on average kids raised by same sex parents where less violent, more accepting, and a host of other positive characteristics as opposed to kids raised by straight parents.

    so if anything those kids are better off on all levels than most xD
     
  7. mnguy

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    I think she was being childish with the eww, gross, ick, cooties, attitude. If she suspects you're gay and is baiting you like that, I can't tell you how much I hate that tactic. I kinda suspect a few people have done that to me and all it makes me want to do is avoid them. I find it really disrespectful. My feeling on it is if you care about me then lets have a confidential conversation, not play games. If they're not trying to bait me then it's a sign of their prejudice and I hate that too. :icon_mad:
     
  8. Elicitra

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    my mum once had a conversation with me like this except it was abut my gay uncle and his partner trying to adopt a baby - she was very anti the idea and i was rather upset about it. tbh im still woried what she will think if i end up with a nice guy and we want a child.. i try not to think about it to much :/
     
  9. Filip

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    I'd class it under "ill-advised small-talk". Laughing with gay people is, in most settings, a surefire way to get an easy laugh or an easy agreement, which are elements smalltalk thrives upon.
    And if one is uninformed that this is really hurtful for some people, it's hard to see why this is a bad thing. Mostly, as said above, it has to do with education. Most people aren't all that homophobic, and they grow understanding quickly... but just can't resist going for the easy score.

    Still, it happens. My brother and his girlfriend are literally the most accepting people I know. And yet, I have overheard them making derogatory comments (never about me, though) and making "fag" jokes with friends. When confronted, they invariably are ashamed and amazed at how easy it flowed out. But I'm sure they'll get better over time. And so will your mom once you come out, most likely!