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well THAT went well...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Elicitra, Jan 3, 2011.

  1. Elicitra

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    i don't want to go into details but i told a close friend that im bi and now she blackmails me a bit :frowning2: just wondering what to do
     
  2. maverick

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    What do you mean, blackmails you?

    What kind of close friend blackmails you?
     
  3. Elicitra

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    by blackmail - well it originally started as a kind of joke thing but now its kind of gotten worse.

    and the kind of close friend that blackmails you doesn't exist, that's called b**** >.>
     
  4. secretstache09

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    First thing you should do is to tell your friend that she needs to seriously stop. Let her know that you trusted her enough to tell her that, and that the least she could do is be a true friend and stop trying to manipulate you. Try to have a good talk with her about it and see what happens.

    What type of things is she trying to blackmail you into doing for her?
     
  5. Elicitra

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    it kinda varies from offending random people to buying her things
     
  6. secretstache09

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    Well have you tried to tried to tell her that what she is doing is not cool? I know you probably told her, but you probably have to tell her in a serious way so she can know that its really bothering you and making you uncomfortable.
     
  7. Elicitra

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    iv tried to contact her via msn but id rather do it as a face to face thing
     
  8. Mirko

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    Hi there! I think you need to talk to your friend and tell her that she needs to stop with the blackmail asap. A thing you should consider is re-evaluating your friendship with her. If she starts blackmailing you after you come out to her, I wonder as to how much you can actually trust her.

    As it was said above, you need to tell her to stop with the blackmailing and if she doesn't, you might not want to be friends with her anymore.
     
  9. Elicitra

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    i think i probably will stop being friends with her, altho im woried tht if i do she might just tell every one anyway...
     
  10. Mirko

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    Hi there! Before you end the friendship and might feel even more fears as to what she might say to others, I'd say talk to her first and tell her that she needs to stop. Maybe that will already have enough of an impact on her that she will stop. After that, try to come to a decision as to what would be better for you.

    (*hug*)
     
  11. Elicitra

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    to be honest im kind of scared of her reaction whatever i do :/
     
  12. Mirko

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    Hi there! Even though you might be scared, and it might not be easy to talk to her, it would be good and to your benefit if you could and would talk to her. (*hug*)

    Who wants to have a friend who blackmails others? And your friend needs to understand that. Maybe the best way to approach it would be to talk to her in a calm way, and just share your concerns with her and see what she says. If she is not receptive, then maybe try to distance yourself a little bit from her, short of ending the friendship if you fear she could use it against you.

    While you create distance between the two of you, try to make one or two new friends.
     
  13. Elicitra

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    most of the people in my year are friends with me im just worried about loosing them all due to this - everyone in my school is pro-straight anti-anything else
     
  14. secretstache09

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    You'd be surprised at how kids your age are more accepting of gay/bi people. Not to say that there won't be any asshats, but I would venture to guess that the majority of your classmates would not be as against you as you may think they will. And you will probably be even more popular with girls. Funny how that works :slight_smile:.

    But yes, calmly tell your friend to stop trying to blackmail you, and hope that she has an ounce of decency in her to leave you alone about it.
     
  15. Elicitra

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    hmm - will extend later but im the mt in naxx lol
     
  16. secretstache09

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    Lol lvl 85 naxx, well if you ever want to chat about your friend or lolnaxx, be my guest! (*hug*)
     
  17. Elicitra

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    kk finished naxx (got some nice epic gear) - yh all of the people in my class are EXTREMELY set against anyone who isnt straight and... well it really wouldn't go well
     
  18. secretstache09

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    Well, I tell you what, you try to ask your friend nicely to stop, and if she refuses, or threatens to tell, then we will go from there. Remember, you have support here and even though we can't physically be there for you, we are here for you.
     
  19. Elicitra

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    thanks :slight_smile:
     
  20. Beachboi92

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    lol naxx is 85 now? xD and i think the only way to do anything about it is go face to face with her. Then simply tell her that your not cool with her doing it even jokingly. Simply don't give into her demands otherwise and tell her to stop. If you don't do it face to face it won't work as well imo.