Lately, especially in the past few days, I can't get my mind off the prospect of a boyfriend. For me, that's the most far-fetched idea I could ever come up with, and I know that. I know that the way I go about things, and with my horribly, horribly, horribly anti-social lifestyle, I will sooner grow wings than have a relationship with anyone. Besides, my life at the moment doesn't have room for a relationship, it would just get in the way of my...well, I never really ever do anything, but it would still get in the way of things. That isn't the problem, the problem is, even though I know it won't happen, I can't stop thinking about it. There are certainly things I could do to fix this, and maybe get a boyfriend, but the work I would have to put into it would be immeasurable. What I DO want to do, is stop myself thinking about it. I'm not here for advice on how to improve myself, or how to find someone, I'm strictly asking if anyone has any advice to get it off my mind. Any advice at all would be good really.
First off, I wanted to say that I'm in the same boat as you. I like... YEARN for a boyfriend so bad, but I'm too scared to find someone, and I'd rather that someone find me instead. Secondly, don't think it won't happen to you. I'm sure you'll find someone eventually, and it will be much more meaningful than other people who just hook up for physical reasons. And if you want some advice to take your mind off it, I would suggest doing activities. You said you don't really do much, but do you play an instrument? I just recently started learning my first one (I'm super late D : ), and I think it's a really great way to take your mind off things and express yourself and just have fun playing. Or, you could do other things like... I like to write stuff, even if it's just a story idea I have even though I might not follow through. Or even a journal for your thoughts. And hanging out with friends is fun too. If you have any friends, but not much, like me, you could always ask them to introduce you to their friends, so you can widen your circle of friends : ) If you don't have any friends at all, which was me once >_< You'll need to take a step and ask someone if they want to hang out. An easy way to do that, for me, was to ask them while we were doing a project together XD. Good luck : ) And don't feel like there's something wrong with wanting a boyfriend, cause I like obsess about wanting one >_< We both just need to take our mind off of it for now and I guess see what comes.
It's good to know that I'm not alone in this boat of mine, might I add that it is a very unpleasant boat. I do occupy myself, fairly well. Although my boredom eating tells a different tale entirely. So my mind is usually busy. But it's certain times that I think about it that are really bad. For example: Every night, when I am trying to get to sleep, all I can think about is a pair of big warm arms around me. I wish I had someone really close to talk to about things aswell, and I tend to think about that a lot too. I feel the same way, in that I would want someone to come to me. I don't think I could ever ask someone out, in any way, or even ask someone to set me up with someone. The problem with this is, I don't think anyone would come to me. Not to sound like a pessimist, but I'm not much of a catch. So many things about me are unappealing. I've accepted this though, so it doesn't bother me (much). I won't say I don't want a boyfriend, that would be a complete lie, but I don't think it would be a good thing to have a relationship at the moment. Or at any time really. I would be bound to screw SOMETHING up, or do something to make it uncomfortable, even if it was only unpleasant for me. But anyway, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one in this sort of situation.
I'm quite similar and can't stop thinking about it either. Hopefully someone else comes along with advice on getting the thought out of your mind. Radiant's advice of keeping busy is good, but after a while, that didn't work for me. I think eventually I got more depressed and lost interest in doing those things I once enjoyed. I too wish a great guy would come along and you'd think that in ten years at a big company there would be someone with mutual attraction/interest who would have the balls to approach me, but nope. I guess my best advice to you is keep busy for now, but maybe as you get a bit older your confidence will grow and you'll take a chance and that great guy will come along for you. I hope you're happy and have had some great relationships by the time you're 35 like me (*hug*)
Hey! I empathize with you in that having a relationship will "get in the way". I feel very much the same way all the time. And that's because maybe I'm a little self-absorbed in some ways, because I feel like having a good relationship with yourself is the most important relationship of all, and it should come first before having a relationship with another person. That being said, I'd say don't stress too much about boyfriend issue. Chances are, you will find one for you someday. In the meantime, try to build a healthy relationship with yourself; what YOU want, and what YOU need in life. And once you are able to find happiness (and independence i guess) within yourself, you'll naturally find it much easier to have a healthy and happy relationship with another person as well. Just my two cents! Hope it helped a little bit about your dilemma!
I don't believe that anybody goes through life without thinking about finding someone at some point in the game. And the few that say they don't are lying. It is nothing short of human nature feel lonely every once in a while. We all go through it. Myself, (as I also get this way from time to time) I think about the important things in my life that a relationship would get in the way of. And if that doesn't work, I call a friend and we go for coffee, or a movie, or drinks. Maybe you know somebody from work or school you could hang out with. Maybe not necessarily date, but hang out as friends. I hope this helps.
