Jealousy

With a mindset like that, that is a possibility. If you put off negativity and lack of confidence in yourself people will easily be picked up on.

Be positive, send out good vibes and be yourself, the men will find you. Also you are very young, you have your whole life time to find partners. Dont fret, relax and just keep an open mind. (*hug*)

 

Y'know, one of the biggest problems about our culture is the emphasis that our worth is determined by being in a relationship. Fuck that noise. Being in a relationship is only good if the person you're with is good. Sure, your ex may be able to get people more easily than you, but that don't matter diddlysquat if he doesn't get someone good. So don't focus on what he is or isn't getting, focus on yourself and your own possibilities.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to feeling sorry for myself because my ex found a new guy in three weeks and I'm still looking. And this happened over a year ago. Which is to say, I talk a good talk on this issue, but sure as Hell don't walk the walk. :bang::bang:

---------- Post added 6th Jan 2011 at 11:25 PM ----------

Also, if that picture you've got by your name is a picture of you, you may be underestimating your chances

 

Seconded. Dude, you are lookin' pretty fine at the Waffle House. Once you develop a little swagger to go with the literary prowess and musical talent, they'll be lining up. If I were you, I would make that a New Year's resolution - you are a cool person and you have gotta wear that flag if you want other people to see it too.

I feel you on the jealousy though, I'm a jealous person too and I recognize it as absolutely one of my worst qualities, but it's hard for me to NOT feel that way when I do get jealous, I have a hard time controlling that particular negative emotion. I can swallow back anger and I can hide distress, but when I get jealous I feel like it is absolutely obvious to every single person who sees me. It's a consuming emotion.

Yeah, I've spent most of my adult life single with a few noted exceptions, and I honestly don't understand our society's obsession with the "mating process". I'm so busy doing various other things that I rarely even think about being in a relationship. Sure, I wouldn't mind dating the right person casually at the point I'm at right now, but I'm more than happy to keep on keepin' on with all of the other things I'm interested in.

But I don't know...I've always been more content alone than I have in relationships, so I have no real drive to seek one out. Relationships have always felt confining to me, even when I was having a good time.

I agree with Liam though, my advice is that you take this time to enjoy being single and enjoy some "me" time. There are lots of things about flying solo that are really great - extreme freedom of will being the best one in my opinion. No obligations, no compromises, no monotony. You can be with whoever you want and do whatever you want. You make all the decisions.

 

>>>Y'know, one of the biggest problems about our culture is the emphasis that our worth is determined by being in a relationship.

Oddly, I haven't run into this much. And I guess I credit my parents. I didn't have a boyfriend until I turned twenty-five. My brother dated a bit here and there, but I don't recall him getting a serious girlfriend until he was in his late twenties. My sister dated somewhat more, but even she was more likely to be single or "playing the field" than dating until her mid-twenties. But my parents never asked us when we were going to settle down, or start dating someone "for real", or when the grandchildren were going to start showing up. Not even subtly. They trusted that they had raised us right, that we were good people, and that when we were ready to get into a relationship, we'd know what to do. And they were right. And my friends were like that, as well. I don't recall any pressure. My good friend from college would occasionally get in a jab with "how's your love life?" when he wanted to make an easy hit, but I'd just respond with "Been published yet?" It was a running joke between the two of us until, in the same month, I got laid and he got published. Other than that, nothing. Maybe I just attract a higher class of people, but I think most of it had to do with my attitude.

It seems most single people take one of two attitudes (and I'll use the gay male - feel free to extrapolate) - "woeful and desperate for a man" and "determinedly unattached". And neither of those seemed the right course for me. The first mindset leads guys to latch onto the first person who says yes, and the second leads guys to ignore guys who could really be ideal. So my mindset was "I'm single, and I'm enjoying my life plenty. But I'm open to the idea of a relationship." This kept me from latching onto somebody simply because they were available, but let me remain open to the idea of hooking up with somebody who was a good match.

Back to the OP.

Your relationship ended. Presumably there's nothing more to be gleaned with "you-and-him". Given that, set him free - mentally and emotionally. He's now free to find pleasure and happiness with whoever else he can find it with. And if he finds that somebody on the way home from breaking up with you, more power to him. But the same thing holds for you. You're now free to find the same pleasure and happiness. Allow yourself to do so.

Lex