I hate to be posting here with so many problems, but my life is really messed up at the moment. I've been feeling so skeptical about everything, I am finding it hard to believe anything about myself. I sit here, and all I can think is, 'This is ridiculous, there's nothing wrong with me.' I think I may be going into some sort of denial about everything. I constantly wonder if I am really the way I say I am. In all honesty, I can't believe that I'm gay, I think the notion of me having issues with my weight is ridiculous, I don't believe that I am so lonely, and I don't believe I have gender issues, I don't believe that I am terrified about my future, I don't believe anything about myself. I feel like I am jumping to conclusions, even about things I have had going on for years. I just feel like I am lying to myself, getting ideas into my head about things that aren't really there. This is the reason I have so much trouble working out what's going on with me, and fixing the problems. Whenever I come to a conclusion about something, it sounds to ridiculous to believe. I just can't seem to believe that I am this person, with all these problems. I just wish I could accept my life as it is, and stop questioning myself.
Calm down. Take a deep breath. I think you may be misdiagnosing the problem. You're not in denial about your issues--you want to be. You want to be able to bury them, and you want it so bad you end up questioning whether they even exist. So, how to deal? I recommend therapy. I don't know what your situation is, but your school may offer therapy (I think I read somewhere that Aussie schools have chaplains, a good chaplain can offer therapy just as well as a psychologist), or your healthcare coverage may include therapy (cost is the big issue here in the states, dunno about Australia). A good therapist can help you work through your issues, help you to accept yourself, and can even help you work out what your issues are.
Therapy does sound like a good idea. I was planning to see a counsellor at school anyway. But that will have to wait until school is back in, and that won't be for another month. Thanks, but I'll have to work out how to deal with things in the meantime aswell.
